If you’re not a member of the Q-immunity, you might not be aware of just how important yesterday really was. December 5 was the day. D-5 Day. The Coming of the Storm. The Avalanche of Truth. The Great Awakening. The day on which secret agent/hidden avenger/true heart of the Trump White House ‘Q’ brought down Trump’s enemies. Yesterday was the date the Deep State was ripped from its hidey hole and held up to the blinding light of righteous wrath! Right in front of the cameras of the world! Did you see it?
It’s been some months since we checked in on Bastard Son of Pizzagate. Since over that time Hillary Clinton has not been locked up and Donald Trump has inched ever closer to an orange jumpsuit, there might seem to be reasons for the Q faithful to be discouraged. But of course they are not. Because nothing says “Hi, I belong to a crazy cult” quite like the ability to reshape theories to fit any set of data.
Still, Wednesday had to be considered something of a special challenge. Under the hashtags #TheStormIsComing and #D5, Q Anon fanatics have spent weeks rubbing their hands in anticipation of the “greatest day in American history,” the day in which the veil would be removed, and everyone would learn that the Justice Department has been, all along, secretly investigating the pizza-basement-child-sex-traffic-drug-running-Deep-State ways of the Democratic Party. December 5 was supposed to be that day—the day when everyone would learn that Trump was not only right, but that there would barely be enough cells in the country to lock up all the people who needed locking.
Of course Obama and Clinton were givens for the lock-up. And everyone who ever worked at the DNC or the Obama White House or the Clinton White House. Senate Intelligence Committee Democratic leader Mark Warner? Absolutely. Didn’t you read the part where he’s a Democrat? Rod Rosenstein is also headed to jail, but not Robert Mueller because Mueller is secretly part of Team Q. All the paperwork he’s filed? Just cover to throw off the sheeple while Mueller puts “millions” of indictments in place. Of course, Mueller will have to ultimately indict Mueller because of his involvement with Clinton and Uranium One. But he’ll get a presidential pardon from Trump for his yeoman work in “distracting the Deep State and fooling the Fake News.”
Even the fact that George H.W. Bush was being memorialized on D5 didn’t cause an issue. Because, as one of the Q-messages says “what are the mathematical probabilities” that Bush should die and have his funeral on that day, and that Obama, and Clinton, and Carter, and all the rest of the dark heart of the Deep State would be so conveniently collected in one place? Even Bush’s casket, resting in the rotunda of the Capitol building, was seen as forming a “Q” as a “warning to the Deep State.” Clearly, this event was planned.
So, how does the QAnon crowd explain that all the “criminals” seemed to leave the National Cathedral without the benefit of handcuffs? Oh, they have ways.
— Derek Aspinwall (@AspinwallDerek) December 6, 2018
The obvious excuse might be that Bush’s death and funeral threw off the plans. But that would mean admitting that Q isn’t all knowledgeable and completely prescient. It was not possible that a 94-year-old man who had been ill for years might die on his own. Instead, Bush was executed expressly so that his death could provide the focal point for D5. This is clear … because James Comey’s dog died.
— oneway.com/davidjamesjnr/ ???? ???? ????⚡️ (@DavidJamesJnr) December 1, 2018
It’s a cult. It doesn’t have to make sense. In fact, making sense is a detriment. But with Bush’s funeral obviously targeted for TheStorm, Q sites were probably selling out of popcorn for those who watched the ceremony waiting for that moment when the Men in Black came charging in.
The latest twist seems to be that D5 was a misinterpretation of the fine Sun Weekly horoscopes-quality messages provide by the supposed Q. Not that there isn’t a real date on which the Deep State will go down. Of course there’s a date! It will just take a few more pinches of eye of Newt Gingrich and some cauldron stirring to determine a new target for the rapture … err, Storm. The latest calculations seem to involve Michael Flynn’s birthday. Because while Wikipedia says that the former national security adviser was born on December 5, QAnon faithful who claim to have tracked down Flynn’s sister claim that Flynn was actually born on December 24. And since Flynn’s indictment is just part of the cover that Muller is creating to distract the Fake News, this cover-up of his true birth day is clearly … no, really, that’s a thing.
So maybe Q is going to catch a ride on Santa’s sleigh and bring justice to all the bad little boys and girls of the Deep State in one night. Aided by eight tiny Trump-orange reindeer. Or maybe the day is not the 24th. Now that the D5 date has come and gone, it’s likely to take some time before a new prophet emerges to tell the faithful the One True Date and everyone agrees on a set of all important new hashtags.
And when he, she, or it does give a date, and those hashtags do emerge, I’ll try to pass it all along more quickly. Because most of the fun in watching QAnon comes from following the excitement, and the surety, with which they approach this ever receding football.
Already pre-gaming for #D5. Got some burgs + brats on the hibachi, I'm 3 Budweiser Straw-ber-ritas down, and I'm just waiting for Commander-in-Chief Trump to arrest Hillary, deputize Mike Cernovich, and force my dad to take back what he said about me being the reason mom left.
— For Sale: Baby Shoes, Never Worn. (Baby Is Dead.) (@LHGarrett) December 5, 2018