Welcome to the Stuffed Fools Cafe. Today’s Special is Grilled Lewandowski


Waiter! This soup is cold! It’s vichyssoise sir, it’s served cold   The Jerk

GOP strategist Rick Wilson nailed the ultimate price of sleeping with the devil to the barn door with the title of his book, Everything Trump Touches, Dies. That title could easily end up being the epitaph on the tombstone of the Trump presidency. The only people to have bumped up against Trump and survived unscathed are pre Trump appointees like Walter Schaub, who resigned in protest, and Sally Yates, who was sacrificed for doing the right thing, or Trump appointees like Nikki Haley and James Mattis, who resigned rather than go through the contortions or moral equivalencies. For all of the others, You roll with pigs, you end up muddy. Except for the fact that most of these porkers were filthy before Trump ever came along.

Watching the slow motion, wounded duck fall of Corey Lewandowski from the Trump sky is an interesting character study. Lewandowski came to work for Hair Furor as his national campaign manager with the highest of qualifications, nobody in the political world had ever heard of him, and he worked cheap. A perfect example of Lewandowski’s strategic brilliance is the fact that he couldn’t even screw around on his wife without getting caught. Life lesson for you all. If you’re going to have a cheap tawdry affair, best not to have it with a subordinate campaign staffer. And if you are, best not to get caught on cell phone video engaging in a screaming match with her outside of a midtown Manhattan restaurant in the middle of the lunch rush.

What will be the ultimate downfall of Corey Lewandowski is the same virus that infects so many Trump acolytes, terminal arrogance. because a spineless, compliant GOP Senate has let Trump get away with almost anything, Trump has assured his idiot staffers that this magic aura suffuses them as well, due to their close proximity to him. And of course, being dumb enough to work for Trump, these dim sheep buy whole hog into that bullshit. As did Corey Lewandowski yesterday.

At least Corey Lewandowski was a real man about this, he went into the hearing publicly announcing that his foal was to insult, obfuscate, denigrate, and even lie to make the entire process a sham. And being a true blue Trumpista, that’s exactly what he did. But being a complete moron, he repeatedly buried not only himself, but the Cheeto Prophet as well.

For instance, Lewandowski lied repeatedly under oath. Democratic congressman Eric Swalwell got Lewandowski to sneeringly respond that he had taken notes when dealing with Trump “all the time,” whereupon Swalwell read the FBI transcript portion where Lewandowski said that Trump telling him to take notes in how to tell Sessions to stop the Mueller investigation was the first time it had ever happened. Swalwell managed this Herculean feat without having to resort to hanging his suit jacket over the back of his chair, and rolling his sleeves up to the elbows, like he was engaging in heavy manual labor, which made GOP representative Jim Jordan look like a total twink, and should make him feel like a flaming asshole.

Under questioning from the House staff lawyer, Lewandowski was not only shown to have been a repeat liar on Trump’s behalf in many of his public comments on FOX News, as well as other outlets such as CNN and MSNBC, but far more damaging, he took Lewandowski over the falls on Trump’s obstruction, reading broad swaths of Lewandowski’s testimony about Trump’s obstruction to the FBI, and forcing Lewandowski to admit that those statements were a true reflection of Trump’s words and actions. If you were paying close attention, you noticed that Glorious Bleater stopped live tweeting Lewandowski’s testimony at that point.

There are a couple of ways in which this performance can come back to bite Corey Lewandowski in the ass down the road. First of all, whether he lied to Swallwell under oath about taking notes, or he lied to the FBI under oath about taking notes, Lewandowski lied under oath about taking notes. That’s commonly called -perjury, and it carries a mandatory 5 year sentence. The statute of limitations is 5 years, so if a Democrat wins the White House next November, there will be plenty of time to figure out which hook to hang Lewandowski’s hat on. And unlike gerald Ford, I don’t see any incoming Democratic President giving out a lot of free passes on recent Trmp cabal criminal bullshit.

But I like the second fallout for Lewandowski from yesterday’s appearance even better. Lewandowski has made it an open secret that he plans to run for the US Senate in his home state of New Hampshire in 2020. He even had the arrogance of live tweeting teasers about it during the hearing, providing lij=nks to his website. This could end up being a real problem for Lewandowski some general election time next year.

Anytime you are travel to the northeast coast of the US, you are instantly subjected to “food, old fashioned, New England common sense.” This is a real source of pride for New Englanders, their rock steady, can’t-fool-me attitude, as proudly displayed by the sound, forward thinking leadership of former Maine Governor au LePage. Well, maybe best not to bring that dark chapter up if you talk to any of them. But New Englanders are proud of their common sense and stalwart moral values, and with good reason.

Which presents a campaign problem for Corey Lewandowski, if he chooses to run for Senate. It’s hard to see how Lewandowski can claim that he has the personal integrity and deep devotion to democracy to serve in the United States Senate when there is hours of videotaped evidence of Lewandowski sitting in a witness chair, sarcastically and sneeringly trashing the House Judiciary Committee like a rock band on their last night in the hotel room. Those kinds of Democratic attack ads write themselves as do the ones where Lewandowski slavishly praises Trump, followed by a reminder that the New England seafood industry is going down like the Titanic as a result of Trump’s idiotic trade war. Oh yeah, and Trump lost New Hampshire in 2016, before he showed what a nightmare he was as President.

So, all in all, I hope that Corey Lewandowski enjoyed his moment in the spotlight yesterday, because pretty soon he may have a slightly different take on his performance. And, in a rapidly growing new tradition that I am coming to dearly love, I can once again proudly say, “Corey Lewandowski? Stand up and take a bow, fool!”

To know the future, look to the past. before the insanity of the 2020 election, relive the insanity of the 2016 GOP primary campaign, and the general election, to see how we got to where we are. Copies of  President Evil, and the sequel, President Evil II, A Clodwork Orange  are available as e-books on Amazon, at the links above. Catch up before the upcoming release of the third book in the trilogy, President Evil III: All The Presidents Fen

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