Well, the Trump Academy of Clowns and Buffoonery is holding graduation day today. And while the class valedictorians are busy strutting their stuff, I thought it might be interesting to take them at their words, and see what it is that they’re actually saying.
Philbin: Professor Dershowitz told you that even if the President did everything the House managers said he did, it did not rise to an impeachable offense.
Yep. And Dershowitz is full of shit. He even admitted that he’s full of shit. He admitted that 90% of his peers think that he’s full of shit. But Trump is paying him to spout that shit, so here we are.
Sekulow: I am not going to go into a detailed analysis of the evidence.
No shit, jay, of course you’re not. That would take preparation and effort on your part, and we both know that’s not you bag. Besides, a detailed analysis would blow your shoddy theories to smithereens.
Sekulow: This impeachment is about removing the duly elected President of the United States. That’s what this is all about, and you cannot overturn the will of the American people.
Really? Huh, who’d a thunk it. News flash Jay! Every impeachment of a President has the purpose of removing the duly elected President of the United States. And I don’t remember any Republicans back in 1999 whining about their own side trying to overturn the blowout will of the people in 1996.
Sekulow: Danger! Danger! Danger!
I’m going to say something else senseless and stupid.
Sekulow: The wife of the fourth ranking FBI agent in charge of the investigation was in constant contact with the former foreign agent who was digging up dirt for the Democrats, and he was worried that they might have to stop.
I know that there isn’t a single word in either article of impeachment about Trump-Russia, but the boss is watching, so I gotta find a way to fit this shit in.
Sekulow: The bar for impeachment cannot be set this low!
No, maybe not, but the bar for the quality of legal representation certainly seems to be able to be set this low.
Sekulow: Is this process a Biden free zone? Is that what this is? The President can’t even ask a question?
Not at all, dipshit. In fact, it was Trump endlessly asking Zelensky about Biden that got you standing there behind that podium, making an ass out of yourself.
Sekulow: You cannot impeach and remove a President on the basis of an unsourced allegation.
No, but you sure as shit can for all of the evidence that was uncovered as a result of that unsourced allegation. Interesting to call first person knowledge an “unsourced” allegation.
Sekulow: I’m not going to go into exhaustive detail, my colleague did that earlier.
Hey! Did you guys noticed yet that every time I talk, it’s always my colleagues who did all of the heavy lifting? That does that say about my skills as a lawyer?
The Cavalcade of Twits is in a short recess so that Sekulow can call over to the White House and see what other singles from Trump’s Impeachment Greatest Hits the boss wants to hear before they call it a day and go get wasted. If I notice any more inspired stupidity, I’ll try to jot them down and bring them to you, if my stomach holds up.
To know the future, look to the past. before the insanity of the 2020 election, relive the insanity of the 2016 GOP primary campaign, and the general election, to see how we got to where we are. Copies of President Evil, and the sequel, President Evil II, A Clodwork Orange are available as e-books on Amazon, at the links above. Catch up before the upcoming release of the third book in the trilogy, President Evil III: All The Presidents Fen