Stephen Colbert took to heart drumpf’s criticism that der Gropenfurher can not get equal time on his show and welcomed Jon Stewart to his monologue to act as his drumpf whisperer.
The results were predictably hilarious.
Before granting drumpf his wish the two demonstrated how “unfunny” “equal time” could be, morphing the “Big Bang Theory” and “Young Sheldon” into “Creationist Bazinga Fun Time Hour” and “Young Jesus.”
When the time came to balance Colbert’s biting commentary on the Bob Corker dust up Jon visibly struggled to find his first nice thing to say about the Orange menace, but finally came up with…
“Donald Trump is not a cannibal.”
Challenged by Stephen to find another point of praise, Stewart gamely stammered…
“Given the choice between hot lava poured into my pee hole and Donald Trump being President, I choose la…la…the latter,”…
Asked to defend drumpf’s “calm before the storm” “you’ll find out” quips, though, proved too much of a challenge for even the mercurial Stewart….
“What is wrong with this guy? You’ll find out? A cliffhanger, surrounded by military people. Will Trump give humanity the rose? Will civilization make it to the fantasy suite?” Stewart spit into the camera.
“Calm before the storm? How is all this not the storm? This is all the storm! What kind of sociopath would use that terminology when people are still literally cleaning up from storms?”
Stewart finally gave up his attempts at equal time, leaving Colbert to muddle through on his own.
“Donald Trump is not a cannibal.” is the best he could end with.
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