As the daily calamity called the White House daily press briefings become more and more entrenched in this national nightmare, I’ve started to devise a strategy to deal with it while keeping my sanity.
When His Lowness waddles out behind the podium, I immediately lunge for the remote and hit “mute”. What do I want to listen to shit for? There isn’t going to be a single verifiable fact, nor a corroborative number in this half-hour of mental masturbation, so why bother? I instead amuse myself by watching covidiot-45 trying to read from the paper without bending down so he can see the words.
When El Pendejo Presidente turns the podium over to the experts, I turn the sound back on. I do this so I can hopefully come away from the catastrophe with at least one salient fact, and also so I know what Trumpenstein is disputing them about later. When Trump resumes the podium, I sit back, arch my eyebrows in anticipation, and enjoy the show.
Because it’s in these unscripted question and answer sessions that Trump flails around like a guy in sandals trying to cross a hockey rink. That’s where the real action is, and once again on Friday, Trump didn’t disappoint.
In response to a question, Trump described an agreement he had come to with the President of Mexico. Trump described how he had agreed to compensate Mexico now for reducing its oil production by 100,000 barrels a day, and in the future Mexico would find some way to pay the United States back.
Now, this was actual news, and I was stunned that The Toddler in Chief had actually laid it out in a comprehensible manner. Like all things Trumpian, it was long on words and short on specifics, but at least Trump had imparted honest information.
But then, being Trump, he just couldn’t resist turning around and throwing a bucket of shit all over it. He went into a long-winded rant about the global oil glut, and “documented” it with the whimsical “fact” that In some parts of the country, gas is at like $0.79 to $0.89 a gallon, which is so low, it’s like nothing anybody has ever seen before.
Which is, of course, pure, uncooked tripe, brought on by the simple fact that Donald Trump has never actually gotten behind the wheel and driven a block in his life, which makes him the same genius on gas prices that he is on medical pandemics. Back in the mid to late 70s, when I was taking my drivers’ license out for a test drive, regular gas was often below that level, especially when oil companies engaged in a price war with each other. But, back to our story.
Apparently, the point that Trump was trying to make, which for his benefit would have been better left unsaid, is that the US, Russia, Mexico, and other countries are voluntarily cutting back on the production of oil to help to stabilize the price before oil hits a measly $10 a barrel. Trump pissed and moaned at length about the hardship the glut is causing America’s great oil producers.
And that’s when it hit me. Trump is using American tax dollars, you know, like out of your and my pocket, to subsidize Mexico in reducing their oil production capacity, in order to screw the American consumer! Now, I don’t know of anywhere in the US where gas is $.079 a gallon, here in Vegas it’s averaging out at about $2.29 a pop, but in actuality, that’s irrelevant.
What Trump is saying is that he’s using our money to bribe Mexico into producing less oil, so that the American oil companies can sell their oil for a higher price, which means that you and I can go back to spending $3.29 a gallon for the exact same stuff we’re getting for a buck a gallon lower today.
Welcome to Trumponomics 101. Cast your mind back about three years ago. Trump was railing to the heavens about the high cost of motion lotion, and promising to bring it down to somewhere around a bean a gallon in the next year. And now, when he’s at best only about halfway there, he’s using our money to bribe other countries to stop producing oil, so he can artificially drive the price of oil back up, so he can get those big, fat Super PAC contributions. Jesus, this clown makes voodoo economics look like a modern miracle.
To know the future, look to the past before the insanity of the 2020 election, relive the insanity of the 2016 GOP primary campaign, and the general election, to see how we got to where we are. Copies of President Evil, and the sequel, President Evil II, A Clockwork Orange are available as e-books on Amazon, at the links above. Catch up before the upcoming release of the third book in the trilogy, President Evil III: All The Presidents Fen