Steve Baker / Flickr Trump wants to rule with an...
Steve Baker / Flickr

We are once again obliged to visit the magical wonderland of Donald Trump’s Weekend Tweets, because we tasked ourselves with doing that. Possibly as a dare? To be honest, it is difficult to recall the reason.

But first, a slight detour into the White House Oval Office, where Donald Trump is still utterly confused about what a president actually does.

The intervention with Sessions, which has not previously been reported, marked another example of the president’s year-long attempts to shape and influence an investigation that is fundamentally outside his control. Trump, appearing frustrated and at times angry, has complained to confidants and aides in recent weeks that he does not understand why he cannot simply give orders to “my guys” at what he sometimes calls the “Trump Justice Department,” two people familiar with the president’s comments said.

Ah yes, that was the reason. We document the man’s Twitter feed because it is ongoing evidence that this man is completely unfit for office, and a national embarrassment, and approximately one poorly placed television commercial away from killing us all. He has spent a year in office and is still hopelessly confused by the notion that he is not, in fact, dictator of us all; he remains infuriated that the laws of the United States of America do not bend and break according to his personal whim. A year in office, and he does not grasp why the president is not allowed to obstruct justice. He was under the impression that he could instruct his government to stop investigating his campaign allies, like Flynn; he remains under the same impression even today. The man is, to use the preferred scientific term for these things, a fucking idiot.

Donald is on the backside of a trip to Davos, so his Twitter time was sharply limited. Still, the man made sure his followers knew he was staying up to date on his favorite television show, the Fox & Friends Drooly-Shouty Funtime Spectacular.

Most of his feed was peddling that same White House “immigration” plan, which was so widely panned as dead on arrival that his White House had to abandon their initial plans to introduce it to lawmakers soon after the rough outlines became known. Nobody told Donald that, or perhaps they did and he forgot.

You can tell which tweets Donald wrote and which he did not due to the Presence of Baffling capitalization Choices. (He appears to think most nouns are capitalized? Or does he use it as quasi-verbal tic, an indication that those are the words that, during an official speech, would require Saying Louder for Emphasis.) His tweets also include a mention of Holocaust Remembrance Day, but that one has far fewer inexplicably capitalized words so it is almost certain that that one was by staff.

No matter, though; by this morning Trump was back to watching television. We know this because a black man inside Donald’s television box apparently insulted him and the actual supposed leader of the nation was not about to let that pass by unremarked-on.

Why do we do this, again? Oh, right. To demonstrate that this man could not be less presidential if he replaced his Oval Office chair with a toilet and his Oval Office desk with another toilet. It is a small thing, but we really ought to keep it in mind as his brain-nub decays and his behavior becomes, possibly as a result of federal investigators investigating things he has angrily demanded nobody investigate, more erratic. For posterity, and so forth.

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This is a Creative Commons article. The original version of this article appeared here.


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