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Donald Trump may have intended to tell New York off when he declared his intention to move to Florida, but so far, all it has done is backfire spectacularly in his face. Here are a few excerpts from a particularly on point piece of mockery by Alexandra Petri, Washington Post, entitled, “Why I’m Leaving New York, by Donald Trump.”

I remember when my publicist and I first moved to Manhattan. We needed new faces. All the old faces of contractors were upset, they whined and sobbed, they said, pay me, pay me, please. But I didn’t pay them. New York was a wonderful place, a brass jungle where dreams were made of, where you did not have to pay the people who built the dreams.

But the city changed. They say I changed, but you know. I remember. One morning I woke up and something was different. There was a time when there were so many mobsters in my office that I worried about inviting cameras in to film the first season of “The Apprentice.” Where everything was brass, or at least brazen. When the smell of graft rose up from the whatever the river is called, and it was a good place to have a family, to not change your kids’ diapers in. Did the city change, or did I, or did the tax rate, or did the ongoing prosecution by the SDNY?

So I said, should I leave? And the people cried.

A man came up to me on the street, he said, “Sir, you can’t leave, you can’t leave New York!” And he was crying. He said, “It’s going to be carnage if you leave, sir, it’s going to be bloody, painful carnage.” And I said, “I know, believe me, it’s going to be bad, but I have to do it! What can I say? They don’t tax you so good here in New York City. They don’t treat you very nice.” I said, “Maybe treat me nice, and I will stay.” But they didn’t treat me nice, and now I have to go.

Melania said, “New York was no mere city. It was instead an infinitely romantic notion, the mysterious nexus of all love and money and power, the shining and perishable dream itself.” I agree with Melania, so I am relocating from Trump Tower to Mar-a-Lago. Very bad for the city! But that is how it is. It used to be better. It used to be great, like America.

The Melania “quote” is how Joan Didion characterized New York City. It’s a cinch that Melania never heard of Joan Didion, much less knew her work well enough to quote her philosophies.

Raw Story has a CNN clip up which is a must-see. The speaker for the New York City Council blasts Trump for a solid four minutes. “New York doesn’t want him. Goodbye, don’t come visit us. We’re the greatest city in the United States. We don’t need you.” And New York doesn’t want him. They’ve been watching this tabloid circus for decades now. Nobody will be gladder to see the door hit him in the butt than New York.

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This is a Creative Commons article. The original version of this article appeared here.

1 COMMENT

  1. New York, New York. The city where Trump was never welcome. If he can’t make it in New York he can’t make it anywhere no matter how hard he tries. He’s a bum.

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