Gage Skidmore / Flickr trump at podium...
Gage Skidmore / Flickr

Donald Trump spent part of an Air Force One press greet discussing why his new border wall, which will be be super-awesome and most definitely built real soon now, will have to be transparent.

[B]ut you have to have openings because you have to see what’s on the other side of the wall. And I’ll give you an example. As horrible as it sounds, when they throw the large sacks of drugs over, and if you have people on the other side of the wall, you don’t see them—they hit you on the head with 60 pounds of stuff? It’s over. As crazy as that sounds, you need transparency through that wall. But we have some incredible designs.

We can roughly guess at the conversation or, ahem, television report that led Donald to this discovery, but Donald’s takeaway from the event is quite special. According to Donald, drug dealers are in the practice of just launching 60 pound bags of The Drugs over the wall with no warning and no arrangement for an accomplice to be waiting on the other side to get it.

So you, a Normal American Tourist, are just walking along the wall because you are a patriot and like to visit walls when suddenly, bam, you are clobbered out of nowhere with a 60 pound bag of The Drugs. And for you, American wall tourist, it’s over.

On the other hand, if the purpose of the wall is to deter The Drugs, wouldn’t we want drug traffickers to accidentally concuss themselves with flying child-sized projectile filled with their product? Wouldn’t it thin their ranks a bit?

See, this is why I will never be elected to anything. I ask too many questions.

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This is a Creative Commons article. The original version of this article appeared here.


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