Mike Maguire / Flickr fascist int hotel...
Mike Maguire / Flickr

CBS News got their hands on the nondisclosure agreement the Trump Organization is making all of their employees sign now that their namesake has been plopped down into the Oval Office. As is usual with Trump and his offspring, it requires everyone involved with the company to swear secrecy about the Trumps’ doings … forever.

Employees must agree to keep secret any information they learn about anyone in the “Trump family” and extended family, including their “present, former and future spouses, children, parents, in-laws.” […]

Specifically off limits: “all political, legal, social, religious, health-related affairs, activities, views and/or opinions of any member of the Trump family… all photographs, movies, sketches, videos, sound or image recordings or likenesses of any member of the Trump family.”

The agreement lasts forever and is retroactive.

Also, if you are obliged “by law” to disclose such information, for example because Uday Trump demanded all the capers in the Soup of the Day be replaced with rat droppings because his father had purchased shares of a rat-farming operation and some law enforcement official came calling with questions about who had done that, you are required to not tell them until you have first notified the company. You know, for reasons.

Nondisclosure agreements are fairly standard fare in many industries today; the usual goal is to keep details of company inventions or finances out of the hands of direct competitors. Few companies, however, would have a nondisclosure specifying you are not allowed to tell anyone about the “views and/or opinions” from anyone remotely related to Donald Stubbyfingers. That sounds more like a mob thing, if the mob was big on paperwork. Also, no making “sketches” of the Trump family. Sketches are right out. If Donald sees someone has made an unauthorized “sketch” of him or his son or sons or his “present or future spouses” he will be very cross indeed. Violators can expected to be walled up inside an abandoned Mar-a-Lago coke oven.

We have long known that Donald Trump is a very paranoid person, and has apparently passed his paranoia down to his offspring. I’m not sure any of us fully grasped just how much he likely has to be paranoid about, though. Law enforcement officials are investigating his ties to Russian money-laundering operations, it has just been revealed that individuals acting under color of the Putin government itself met to discuss anti-Clinton propaganda during the precise time the Russian government was hacking information about the Clinton team from the offices of her party, and the White House is in an obsessive fury over information being leaked from Trump’s White House that suggests the man is perhaps both more ignorant and more mentally unstable than anyone has been willing to let on to.

So sure, make all the waiters sign pieces of paper promising to take the information about whether Ivanka had the fish or the chicken for dinner to their pauper’s grave. That’ll fix it.

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This is a Creative Commons article. The original version of this article appeared here.


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