President and Mrs. Obama built/has a ten foot Wall around their D.C. mansion/compound. I agree, totally necessary for their safety and security. The U.S. needs the same thing, slightly larger version!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 30, 2018
Off the top of my head, I can think of a few differences between the Obamas’ wall and Trump’s imaginary border wall:
- The Obamas’ wall didn’t cost $70 billion.
- It doesn’t require tens of thousands of guards to prevent intruders from easily hopping over it with a ladder or a ninja grappling hook.
- People probably won’t build numerous and elaborate tunnel complexes to get under it.
- The Obamas don’t think their wall needs to be transparent so they don’t randomly get killed by falling sacks of drugs.
- The Obamas’ wall doesn’t have numerous points of entry through which thousands of visitors pass each day in their cars and trucks.
- It has at least four sides, not just one — so people can’t easily go around it.
- While you can fly planes over the Obamas’ wall, there’s nowhere to safely land.
- The Obamas are presumably following the employment laws of our country, whereas not everyone in the contiguous U.S. is ethical enough to do so.
- The Obamas never promised that Mexico would pay for their wall.
- Also … the Obamas’ wall is real.
I’m sure y’all can think of more.
Seriously, someone needs to cut Trump’s Adderall with Ex-Lax powder so he can safely dispose of the parts of his brain that have learned how to tweet.
I mean, wow. The shutdown may go on forever with this shit-spattered land manatee in the Oval Office.
Yo! Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing is now available at Amazon! Buy there (or at one of the other fine online retailers carrying it), or be square.
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