Trump Just Can’t Help Himself. Thank God!

Don’t sweat the petty things, and don’t pet the sweaty things   George Carlin

You know, as I’ve gotten older and seen more shit, I’ve been forced slowly to admit that sometimes life really does imitate art. Case in point, after spending 3 1/2 years observing the reign of King Gooey The 14th, I gotta say, Mama Gump really nailed it when she told her son Forrest, Stupid is as stupid does.

As I noted earlier today, Trump has spent the last 24 hours in a bad tempered pissing contest on Twitter with Roy Cooper, the Democratic Governor of North Carolina. Trump’s grand re-coronation event is scheduled to be held in Charlotte from August 24-27. Trump thinks that Cooper is slow walking the reopening of North Carolina to fuck with his convention, and has demanded immediate guarantees of a full attendance convention, or he’ll take his snake oil convention elsewhere.

This kind of stupid is incredibly rare, almost like a genetically engineered hybrid form of stupid. Trump is so dazzled and obsessed with the though of a huge crowd of empty headed poltroons that he’s completely ignoring the actual basic facts and consequences of what he’s saying.

Look, let me ask you something simple. What is Trump’s ultimate goal here? That one’s simple. He wants a nationally broadcast 4 day orgy of political submission by tens of thousands of subservient acolytes, with Trump himself playing the part of the Emperor Caligula. Yeah, and I wanna marry a girl in ruby slippers, but that ain’t gonna happen either.

Next question. What steps can you take to ensure as much as possible that your BDSM leather fetish convention comes true? Now, I’m no poly-sci grad, but I can brush my own teeth, so I can’t quite sink to Trump’s IQ level, but here’s what I think. If I wanted to put the entire cast of all three Night Of The Living Dead movies in one compacted space, I’d play it as safe as possible to maximize my chances.

Which means that the first thing I’d do is to shut the fuck up! If I want to pack all of those primordial ooze rejects into one place, I actually want a Governor who slow walks reopening his state. Taking a break at the end of each phase to allow time to see if a spike develops, and with his finger on the button if necessary to pull back a bit if the shit gets wiggy. I want that Governor to do everything in his power to make sure that when those first shipments of boxes full of earth start arriving in Charlotte, their graph is on the flat line far side of the bell curve.

But instead, what El Pendejo President is doing is insisting that Cooper reopen the state immediately and irrevocably, Trump wants Cooper to take actions that all but guarantee that there will be a devastating second spike in cases, hospitalizations, and deaths in late June, bleeding over into July, and making it impossible for Cooper to give the RNC the go ahead for an unfiltered convention.

This kind of stupid cannot be genetically engineered in the lab, it is a purely natural freak of nature. If Trump bolts on Charlotte, his only safe haven will be friendly states with GOP governors. You know, the ones who are throwing the windows open during the hurricane now to reopen. And even that may not be enough to save his. If, as expected, the sudden lightening round reopening of these states leads to severe spikes in late June and into July, then even these governors may start to face increasing public pressure against holding what amounts to a 4 day coronavirus film festival in the middle of a city with overflowing morgues and hospitals.

Stupid is as stupid does. That one simple phrase perfectly encapsulates and describes life in the era of Trump. But it does keep things interesting, and it do keep me on my toes. But personally, I agree with Bill Maher, I’d give anything for a president that bores my balls off! Until next time kiddies, keep those cards and letters coming, and write if you find work!

To know the future, look to the past.before the insanity of the 2020 election, relive the insanity of the 2016 GOP primary campaign, and the general election, to see how we got to where we are. Copies of President Evil, and the sequel, President Evil II, A Clodwork Orange are available as e-books on Amazon, at the links above. Catch up before the upcoming release of the third book in the trilogy, President Evil III: All The Presidents Fen

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3 Comments on "Trump Just Can’t Help Himself. Thank God!"

newest oldest most voted

Excellent article!!!

J. M.
J. M.

No self-control is one of the symptoms of mental illness. He and supporters belong in prison.


I love it when a governor tells trump shut up and listen, or else.
Than there is AG In Mich. Women that trump will wear a mask or go home or else. Guess who won he wore a mask. That is power good for her. We must keep telling him to f__k off it makes him look like a baby crying to his mama. KEEP IT UP FACE HIM AND TELL HIM TO SHUT UP OR ELSE, LOVE IT. Remember he has DEMENTIA.