First of all, can you guys do me a favor and please just shut up? I thought you guys were, like, my friends and shit. It took us 50 years to finally win a Super Bowl, and if we can keep this scam up, and get Emperor Numbus Nuttus to show up in the wrong fucking city for the parade, then everybody can have a good time!
Awww, so Daddy’s poor widdle man is having a hissy fit again? As dear Ursula reported, the Pampers President is throwing his toys at Nanny Mitch again, pouting and holding his breath because Nanny Mitch won’t let him out of the corner until Wednesday, but widdle Donnie wanted to play in the House on Tuesday.
You know, the worst thing about working for somebody who is never wrong is that it means that you’re gonna end up being wrong, and I mean a lot! As a result, Trump is once again pissing up the wrong rope, blaming McConnell for the fact that El Pendejo Presidente can’t take a victory lap around the House on Tuesday. But it’s not actually Yertl the Turtle’s fault when you come right down to it. The blame actually falls to McConnell’s minions in the GOP Senate, but it works out better this way, because Trump needs those minions a helluva lot more than they need Trump right now.
To unravel this whole mess, all you have to do is to look at the original schedule McConnell came up with for the trial. Ditch McConnell planned this trial out better than the D Day invasion. Remember the original plan. It called for swearing in and opening arguments on Tuesday, two 12 hour days of case presentation for each side, The Democrats on Wednesday and Thursday, and the defense on Friday and Saturday. Then the motions votes and closing arguments on Monday, followed by open debate and deliberations on Tuesday and Wednesday with a final vote on Thursday. This left Friday in reserve in case the Democrats managed to slow things down. Piece of cake, right?
But instead, the wheels came off of the bus before it even had a chance to leave the depot. I wrote just after the trial started that very uncharacteristically, Mitch McConnell was making mistakes and miscalculating, and it turns out that the first one was a doozy. If Mitch McConnell wanted to ram home two twelve hour days of case presentation, all he had to do was to ram it home, he had the majority. Except he didn’t, he miscalculated the fealty of his divine caucus. It was bad enough for GOP Senators to have to sit for eight hours a day listening to Democrats piss and moan, no way were they doing it for twelve hours a day, especially without Candy Crush and Word Twist. McConnell was forced at the last minute to add in two extra days of case presentation, one for each side.
And that blew the ship out of the water right there. Because the time for power parliamentary parlor tricks was during the rules process, before Roberts swore them in, and took over titular charge of the process. And once McConnell had to make that accommodation, he lost control of the schedule.
Because McConnell had already made the tactical decision to delay everything else until the end of the case presentation. All of the procedural motions were tabled until after presentations, witnesses, documents, and the balance of scheduling. And that meant that what came next had to pass Chief Justice John Roberts’ smell test. And as much as Roberts wanted nothing more than to look like a potted ficus in the lobby of the Holiday Inn Paramus, he was going to have to come down on the side of fairness, especially with him having to swallow his pride and refuse to break a tie on witnesses and documents. Which gave Chuck Schumer just enough leverage to push the balance of the proceedings past Trump’s self imposed deadline.
McConnell’s downfall was due to a word that I’ve been using a hell of a lot lately. Arrogance. McConnell could have easily avoided this whole problem. GOP Senators griped publicly for days that they had no idea of what the upcoming trial schedule looked like. If McConnell had called his caucus together and told them his plans, and the explanation, he might have been able to strong arm them into it. Instead, he took them for granted, per usual, and this time it came around to bite him on the ass.
So, while I’m happy any time that Mitch McConnell gets a bucket of shit dumped over his head, I find it especially amusing that this time, the guy who considers himself the whole team, is now being called on to take a hit for the team. But I look at it as good practice, since I think that he’s going to be having to eat a whole lot of humble pie for the next nine months.
To know the future, look to the past.before the insanity of the 2020 election, relive the insanity of the 2016 GOP primary campaign, and the general election, to see how we got to where we are. Copies of President Evil, and the sequel, President Evil II, A Clodwork Orange are available as e-books on Amazon, at the links above. Catch up before the upcoming release of the third book in the trilogy, President Evil III: All The Presidents Fen