How did I miss this?

In a recent column on the intractable assholery of conservative Republicans, The Plum Line’s Greg Sargent noted a conversation that the ambulatory Ed Gein lamp known as Steve Bannon recently had with a Boston audience.

Seems Bannon has a wild plan that, unfortunately for him, would depend on Donald Trump showing up for work, learning, and fully understanding how a bill becomes a law, and having the grace and discipline to keep diverse coalitions united in order to accomplish shared goals other than exacting petty revenge on one man’s perceived enemies.

As Sargent explains, Bannon told Boston Republicans that his latest dream is for Trump to win a House seat in 2022 as part of the GOP reclaiming of the majority. Trump would be a shoo-in for speaker, Bannon insists. But that’s only the beginning of the plan, as the Boston Herald first reported:

“We totally get rid of Nancy Pelosi, and the first act of President Trump as speaker will be to impeach Joe Biden for his illegitimate activities of stealing the presidency,” Bannon said, leading to applause and hollers from the Boston Republicans.

Okay? And the evidence that Biden stole the election is what exactly?

(Oh, Aldous, you naïf. These are Republicans! They don’t need evidence! Pfft.) Back to Sargent.

This is rank crackpottery, but here again, the singular organizing and motivating principle is the idea that Trump’s loss to Biden couldn’t possibly have been legitimate, or that there’s simply zero obligation on the part of the Trump movement to recognize it as such, and that loyalty to Trump requires unwavering fealty to that idea.

This is unsurprising, of course. Trumpites were unable to overturn Joe Biden’s legitimate election win with a violent coup, so now they’re hoping to fill the House chamber with characters even more deluded and unruly than the Q Shaman. (I doubt Trump would ever wear Viking horns and animal pelts, but I wouldn’t rule out his wearing Lindsey Graham like an eviscerated tauntaun if he happened to feel a mild draft in the Capitol Rotunda.)

Of course, I’d be more worried about this if I thought Donald Trump actually cared enough about legislation and, well, working, to run for speaker. Or if I weren’t convinced that Bannon will be at least 98% fungus by 2022. 

That said, I thought Trump running for president was just a big joke, and look how that turned out. So, yeah, file this under “we’ll see.” And if it goes any further than Sloppy Steve’s febrile imaginings, maybe then we can file it under “we’ll seep blood from our terrified eye holes.”

Until that day, one thing’s for sure: Republicans are going to get loopier and loopier the longer they hew to Trumpism—whatever that is. “Being an asshole” is the only overarching principle I can discern, but whatevs.

”This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.”  Bette Midler on author Aldous J. Pennyfarthing via Twitter. Need a thorough Trump cleanse? Thanks to Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, Dear F*cking Lunatic, Dear Pr*sident A**clown and Dear F*cking Moron, you can purge the Trump years from your soul sans the existential dread. Only laughs from here on out. Click those links, yo!

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  1. Why would Trump want to step down from his govt pension and secret service protection to run for a house seat every 2 years? Why doesn’t Bannon run for a house seat and do it. This is just the next cycle of fundraising.

  2. Is it just me or does that picture of Steve look like there was a three way transporter accident with Luke, Jarjar, and an Ewok???

    We need to drop all the TROZOs (Trump Bozos) into a large state prison somewhere… and they can try convincing the “Aryan Brotherhood” to elect Donny their new President… killing two birds with one stone.


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