Mike Licht / Flickr Roy Moore Gadsden x27 s Gift...
Mike Licht / Flickr

Ya know, everybody is all up in arms about what a gutless wonder Donald Trump is for not calling out Roy Moore for his, let’s just say, prior indiscretions. Everybody is saying that Trump is keepinghis big, fat, misogynist mouth shut because he doesn’t want all of the inevitable comparisons between Moore’s accusations and his own previous accusations of sexual harassment and assault. 

But, people who stop at that single comparison are missing the whole point. Donald Trump and Roy Moore are a match made in heaven. They are simpatico in, oh so many ways. You just need anaturally cynical, twisted mind to see the similarities. You know, one like mine. So think about this for a bit.

Trump and Moore have used exactly the same defense of their alleged actions. Mainly, “Nuh-uh. Not me. Never even hearda her. They’re just accusing me because I’m famous!” OK, let’s break it down. OK,anybody can calim innocence. Any of you with kids know that they never stole a cookie or knocked over a lamp in their lives. It was always the dog or their imaginary friend. They don’t know, nor canremember ever even having met the women in question. Awful funny that a bunch of women, almost all with no relationship, or even prior knowledge of each other, somehow or other manage toindependently dream up incredibly similar accusations about a total and complete stranger. Several of Trump’s accusers state he groped them years before he achieved universal recognition with “ TheApprentice.” Moore was an assistant district attorney in Gadsden. Granted, both of them were well known locally, but neither was going to m ake nationwide headlines for any cheap, randy gropes. Trumpmay be able to claim his wealth as a magnet for false accusations, but maybe not so much. None of either Trump or Moore’s accusers have filed cases trying to profit monetarily from their trauma.

Both are blaming outsiders for their pants-on-fire behavior. And both are blaming the exact same outsiders. For Trump, it’s the librul media, it’s all a witch hunt hoax.Forget the fact that Trumpmade his sexual escapades a media playground, even making up a false name for calling up reporters to push his escapades to spike his ego. Moore blames the Bezos-Amazon-Washington-Post complex forhis problems. Ummmn, dude? Jeff Bezos was like in high school 38 years ago. But he was already so innovative and brilliant that he somehow intuitively knew where to send reporters 38 years later totrack down a bunch of lying women.

Both are distracting and obfuscating like hell. Trump is refusing to comment, referring everybody, through Sarah Sanders, back to a mush mouthed statement he put out from the far east, before most ofthe facts were known. Moore has also let his response be handled exclusively by his spokesman, and other friendly mouthpieces. And when he finally did appear in public, around reporters at anatta-boy rally yesterday, he refused to answer questions about the allegations at all, demanding instead that reporters only ask questions about local and national issues.

Both are seeking to make a joke about a very serious issue. Trump is cracking wise about “Al Frankenstien”, which is even funnier considering the fact that the idjit can’t even spell Frankensteinright. Moore’s wife came out today and joked that Trump should thank Moore, since he was taking one for the team by attracting national attention on himself, pushing Russia and the tax bill out ofthe spotlight. This would be like me responding to a story about Moore being injured in a car accident by saying that it could have been worse, he could have forgotten to pay his insurance premiums.There are no sufficient words to describe the tackiness of this.

But worst of all, both are basically full of shit. Trump is claiming innocence because he doesn’t grope unattractive women, he only gropes “10’s”. Personally, Ithink Trump could be accused ofsexually groping a cantaloupe in the produce section of D’Agostino’s, but that’s another story. Moore is claiming that he didn’t date any women back then without asking theirmothers permission. But he called one girl at high school to ask for a date, and the women claimed that he picked them up at work, or around the corner from their home, never coming to the door.Trump is sahing that the people of Alabama should decide this, funny how he didn’t feel that way in the primary, when he backed Moore’s opponent, Luther Strange. And Moore trumpets himself as theultimate Trump man, even though Trump backed his opponent, and Moore was backed by Steve Bannon, who was trying to punish Trump and Mitch McConnell.

So, there ya go. Trump and Moore are like left and right socks of the same pair. I don’t know why they’re bothering to try to deny or hide the kismet they’ve got going, it’s so obvious. Shit, whenyou look at it, I’m surprised that when Trump was elected, he didn’t tap Moore to be his Supreme Court pick instead of Gorsuch. moore would have been right up his alley.

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