One of the reasons to doubt that Team Trump is recording anybody’s White House conversations is that the entirety of Team Trump, collected, could not find their own behinds with two hands, a full-length mirror, and five certified behind-finding dogs.

White House officials apparently waited too long to book accommodations for President Trump, leaving him without a hotel in Hamburg, Germany, as world leaders converge for the G20 summit. […]

The Hamburger Abendblatt, a local news outlet, reported that the US government wanted to accommodate Trump in the Four Seasons, but it was already booked. In fact, it turns out that every luxury hotel in Hamburg was reportedly booked by the time the Americans called, leaving Trump, who is associated with an empire of hotel properties, scrambling for a place to stay.

As a result of this apparent goof—which will no doubt result in a very, very crabby Trump during his G20 meetings—Donald will now apparently be staying in the city of Hamburg’s Senate guest house. It is quite nice, we presume, but it is not the Four Seasons and probably has very little to no gold-plated plumbing of the sort Donald is accustomed to. BuzzFeed does not mention whether Donald will be paying them, and we have no current estimate how how much the threat of nuclear war may or may not hinge on Donald Trump liking the guest house mattresses.

That’s right. The “most powerful nation on earth” forgot to book a place to stay and is crashing on Hamburg’s couch for the duration of their important meetings. He’ll probably rifle through the medicine cabinets and make off with the towels. He seems like a towel-stealer.

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This is a Creative Commons article. The original version of this article appeared here.


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