Today In Trumptopia. Putting The CON In CorONavirus

WatchMojo.com / YouTube Top 10 Most Ridiculous Donald Trump...
WatchMojo.com / YouTube

Did you ever notice how anybody who drives slower than you is an idiot, while anybod who drives faster than you is a maniac?   George Carlin

When you look at all of the truly insane shit that Trump pulls every day, if you want to stay properly grounded, it’s important to remember Trump’s chosen career path, real estate. Let’s say you want to build a house. The county assessor values the property at $60,000, and it costs $40,000 to build the house. Moron logic tells us that this is a $100,000 piece of property. Enter Don The Con, whose job it is to convince you that that house is actually worth $225,000.

You can see Trump’s real estate chops in every thing he does, especially concerning the coronavirus. When pressed, if Trump doesn’t like the numbers, he simply pulls new numbers out of his ass, tosses them out there, and intones waddaya got to lose? Even using the best possible practices to calculate, it is widely accepted that both the infection numbers, as well as the death toll are being woefully under reported. But even those numbers are too painfully high for Trump, his White House is getting ready to go to war on those numbers, claiming that greedy hospital who are padding their coronavirus numbers  in order to get paid by Medicare?!? Trump regularly makes up mystery dates for some magic vaccine to swoop in and save the day, and personally takes a dangerous drug that he has touted as a miracle cure.

But I think that this one might just take the cake. Several weeks ago, at the height of the PPE shortage crisis, Trump almost peed his pants behind the press room podium as he touted a miracle machine that would make mask shortages a thing of the past. Made by a small company in Ohio, you simply hung used masks on racks, sprayed them down with the wonder solution in the gun, and viola! the masks could be reused 80 times, with Trump kicking up the ante by bragging up to 100 times each. And if you act today, we’ll double your order for free, just pay a separate handling charge.

Trump bragged from the podium that the government had purchased 60 of these machines, and was sending them to hospitals and clinics around the country, with more soon to follow. But, Trump being Trump, here comes the con, and it’s a doozy. It turns out that both Trump and the small company in Ohio were full of shit. As, the machines functioned properly, and the spray contained therein did properly disinfect the masks and make them reusable again. But not for any 80-100 additional uses. Hospitals and clinics noted that after 2-4 treatments, the paper on the masks started to deteriorate, making them useless. So much for another miracle fix.

But again, because it’s Trump, there’s even more to this sordid saga. It turns out that the Ohio company had been trying for months to get an FDA waiver to sell the machine, but could only obtain a limited waiver from the FDA, mainly because Dr Rick Bright was suspicious of the company’s claims. If that name sounds familiar, it should, Trump recently bounced him from his position for shitting all over Trump’s miracle cure. But never fear, corruption to the rescue! A company exec got into somebody’s ear, and that somebody got into Peter Navarro’s ear, Navarro being Trump’s all purpose guttersnipe and hatchet man, and Trump ordered the FDA to grant the full waiver for sale and use.

But here’s where the con reaches its apex. Back when the company was butting heads with the FDA, it was asking for a measly $1 million per unit. But once the company got word through the Trump grapevine that Don The Con was going to ram through the FDA waiver, the purchase price suddenly shot through the roof to $7 million per unite. Trump bragged about ordering and shipping 60 of these medical versions of the perpetual motion machine, remember? Now, $60 million is bad enough for something that you may as well throw away before you even take it out of the box, but because this is Trumpmenistan, the US taxpayers are now the proud owners of $42 million worth of machines that apparently do little except to degrade surgical masks into rest stop quality toilet paper.

Welcome to Trumptopia, and the coronavirus version of The Price Is Right! I don’t know personally how or if anything was slipped under the table directly, but I sure wish one of those media wunderkinders like David Fahrenthold would get the list of top company executives in that Ohio company, and start looking for things like Trump golf course memberships, or contributions to the Trump 2020 campaign and aligned Super PAC’s. That might be a story worth reading!

To know the future, look to the past.before the insanity of the 2020 election, relive the insanity of the 2016 GOP primary campaign, and the general election, to see how we got to where we are. Copies of President Evil, and the sequel, President Evil II, A Clodwork Orange are available as e-books on Amazon, at the links above. Catch up before the upcoming release of the third book in the trilogy, President Evil III: All The Presidents Fen

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