TIME / YouTube President Trump Hits The Golf Course...
TIME / YouTube

There is nothing that is more like popcorn for the soul than watching an administration that can’t even tie up its shoelaces try to walk and chew gum at the same time. But that’s exactly what’s happening right now, as they desperately try to navigate a host of contentious issues, such as keeping the government open, dealing with the fallout of Trump’s “shithole countries” remark, DACA, and the Trump-Russia investigation.

First, the old trick ain’t working so good anymore. Whenever the White House doesn’t want to answer tough questions, they drag out some poor slob in front of the podium for a “major announcement.” He or she prattles on endlessly, then answers on topic questions only. Then, Sarah Cluckabee Slanders comes out, and only takes a short handful of questions due to time. Time wasted by the guest to distract. Today it was poor Ed O’Callaghan’s turn. Ed is a high mucky muck in the Justice Department, and he was there to provide clarity to anti terrorism effort numbers that the DOJ released yesterday. It was meant to show what a bang up job the DOJ is doing to keep us safe from terrorism. There were only two problems. First, the numbers they used for their report covered the period of 2010-2016. This was not due to Trump’s tough stance on terrorism, they just unintentionally gave a slap on the back to Eric Holder and Loretta Lynch for the bang up job they did protecting us during the Barack Obama Presidency. The second problem was that reporters were quick to point out that a large number of the investigations dealt with “international terrorism,” and crimes such as “providing material support to overseas fighters and organizations. The number of natural born citizen and immigrants who had obtained citizenship numbers were roughly equal to the number of foreign non citizen convictions and deportations. I’m all for keeping us safe, but it was clear from O’Callaghan’s paddlefooting during questioning that he was finding it hard to close the circle and give the Trump administration much credit. In other words, just another shiny object.

Next, this administration just can’t seem to realize that you can’t keep having shit both ways. Ever since Fire and Fury, Trump has stood on his empty, combover head to convince people that Steve Bannon was, like Geroge Papadopoulos and Paul Manafort, a two bit, small time player, with no influence or importance. But then, when Bannon is summoned to the House Intelligence committee for a little fireside chat, suddenly the White House gags him from answering any questions, not only from his time in the White House, but also during the transition, as well as conversations with Trump after he left the White House, claiming Executive Privilege. For one thing, if Bannon was such a minute cog, what do you care what he says to congress? And for another thing, the whole Executive Privilege excuse is a crock of shit. During the transition Trump was not yet President, he was a private citizen, so no such privilege exists. And once Bannon left the White House, he became a private citizen, and Executive Privilege only covers conversations with staff and cabinet members. By getting up on their hind legs to try to muzzle Bannon, all the White House did was to put an exclamation point on how worried they are about what Steve Bannon might have to say. Doesn’t sound much like a bit player to me, how about you?

And lastly, Trump and Slanders continue to try to preemptively declare the “obstructionist Democrats” as the sole culprits for any shutdown that may occur. NEWS FLASH! This won’t work, and any GOP member of congress who has been around for at least five years can tell Trump it won’t work. back in 2013, Ted Cruz engineered a government shutdown. Even with a Democratic Senate and a Democratic President, the GOP was blamed. When social services offices shutter, and when people who desperately need their tax refunds to survive see them delayed, they are going to see three things. They are going to see a GOP House, a GOP Senate, and a GOP President. They aren’t going to think about, nor care about what a filibuster is, they are going to blame the GOP.

You’ve got to hand it to the Trump cabal. Only they could manage to fuck up so many things at one time that a story about the President’s lawyer paying a porn star $130,000 to keep her mouth shut about a 11 month affair can’t even crack the top 10 for more than 15 minutes. Keep up the good work guys.

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