Because brainless, insensate, limpid clumps of soulless cell matter need to stick together, Republicans across the country are now becoming full-on blastocyst boosters in the wake of the draft SCOTUS decision that will likely vaporize Roe v. Wade later this summer, just in time for thousands of prom-goers’ missed periods.

Many of these true believers are so extreme, in fact, they insist on prioritizing the “rights” of fertilized eggs over the welfare of rape and incest victims—including those who are, say, 12 years old and trapped in abusive homes. 

And there’s no need to embroider those realities with scary exaggerations as Republicans do with their critical race theory bedtime stories and fever dreams about teachers “grooming” kids by telling them about Liberace. The scuttling of Roe is a clear and present danger to millions of women and girls, and we really need to treat it as such.

So that’s why I was so heartened by the following ad, which exposes—with an appropriately lurid sense of alarm—the real dangers our country currently faces. The ad, which is being run by Sen. Catherine Cortez Masto’s reelection campaign, takes direct aim at her likely Republican opponent, former Nevada Attorney General Adam Laxalt. 


REPORTER: “Gov. Ron DeSantis signed an abortion restriction bill that makes no exception for rape, incest, or human trafficking.”

DESANTIS: “There’s nobody I trust more to join me in this fight than Adam Laxalt.”

REPORTER: “The court is poised to overturn Roe v. Wade.”

REPORTER: “Adam Laxalt says it is an historic victory.”

REPORTER: “Mitch McConnell said a Republican-controlled Congress could pass a nationwide abortion ban.”

DESANTIS: “We need his leadership in the United States Senate.”

REPORTER: “No exception for rape, incest, or human trafficking.”

Needless to say, forcing rape and incest victims to give birth to their abusers’ babies is not a popular platform plank. Only 16% of respondents to a Texas poll—fucking Texas, FFS!—think it’s a good idea. Nevertheless, numerous Republicans and other conservatives persist in this lunacy.

Christina Reynolds, Vice President of Communications at EMILY’s List, talks about spending $150 million to center abortion rights in this November’s elections on Daily Kos’ The Brief podcast

It’s well past time we make them pay, don’t you think?

It made comedian Sarah Silverman say, “THIS IS FUCKING BRILLIANT,” and prompted author Stephen King to shout “Pulitzer Prize!!!” (on Twitter, that is). What is it? The viral letter that launched four hilarious Trump-trolling books. Get them all, including the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this link. Or, if you prefer a test drive, you can download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE. 

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This is a Creative Commons article. The original version of this article appeared here.


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