T’was the night before Trumpmas, and all through the town
Not a creature was stirring, the place was shut down
The lobbyists all drove around in their cars
Since no one was in the congressional bars
The Senate had fled, all those sly little foxes
The House hallway held 40 stuffed cardboard boxes

The pundits all lined up on opposite sides
And each took turns biting the other ones hides
The panel hosts all shook their heads in despair
They couldn’t believe this was going on air
The discourse was reaching pathetic new lows
But hey, this is Washington, anything goes

The networks just let the fools all have their say
Cuz no one was watching the tube anyway
When from every pocket there came a loud sound
A Donald Trump tweet had just come around
They all shut their mouths, and grabbed for their phone
Convinced that the tweet was their news alone

“Our whole southern border’s one big, crying shame
But don’t look at MW, it’s the Democrats blame
It ain’t that much money, just five billion bucks
And, oh, by the way, my Fed chairman sucks
I’m stuck all alone, looking at these four walls
Cuz Fox and Friends won’t even answer my calls!”

The pundits hearts fell, nothing new here to see
But they still had to read all this crap on TV
The tweets were all vapid, no substance or plot
But they all sucked it up, and and took their best shot
Then one final tweet choked them up with great fear
“You think this shit’s bad? Just wait til next year!”

Follow me on Twitter at @RealMurfster35

Liked it? Take a second to support Joseph "Murfster35" Murphy on Patreon!

This is a Creative Commons article. The original version of this article appeared here.