“The Most Successful Business Ever” My *ss

Gage Skidmore / Flickr Donald Trump...
Gage Skidmore / Flickr

It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury. Signifying nothing   William Shakespeare   MacBeth

Donald Trump rode into the White House on a very specific persona, that of the “Most successful businessman of all time.” That persona, crafted by a dozen years starring on the annual Emmy dropout reality show “The Apprentice,” gave Trump universal name recognition, as well as the image of a steely eyed magnate, ready to make the tough calls. But that was preceded by a series of ghost written “autobiographies,” mostly full of self fellatio, pimping Trump’s own incredible business acumen.

But as they say, no man is an island, not even a self made man who started out with nothing more than $1 million of Daddy’s sofa change. As any organization grows, in order to thrive it requires an entire staff of talented individuals who can make the vision of the boss a practical reality. So who are these highly skilled and talented individuals?

While there have been relatively few higher echelon former organization executives, like Barbara Res, who have been willing to talk to the media, on the while they seem well grounded and competent. You get the feeling that you could take them to lunch without having them embarrass you in the restaurant. But it takes more than a small handful of people to run a successful, multi billion dollar operation, and the rest of them are lying fallow.

Fortunately, when it comes to assessing Trump’s business acumen, and his skills in attracting and retaining top level  talent, we have another venue to explore. That’s because for the last three years now, Trump has been in another extremely high level, high profile position, one that has required him to make many serious staffing choices to ensure the success of his “business.” Simply by taking the quality of the individuals that he has chosen to run this new enterprise, we can get, I believe, a fair idea of the quality level of his top level employees in his previous “day job.”

The following list is not exhaustive, nor was it even seriously researched, it is basically what I could come up with just off the top of my head. But I think it’ll give us a pretty good idea. Remember, you’re going to take what you read below, and translate it into how this would play in a real world business setting.

Trump had a press secretary that responded to crystal clear photographic evidence of inauguration crowd sizes by belligerently snarling that Trump’s inauguration crowd was the largest in recorded history. Period. And then storming off of the stage. How would this have played out in the media, and on Wall Street if a company chief media officer had pulled the same whit when talking about the company’s last quarterly earnings, which were pathetic to say the least.

One of Trump’s closest personal advisers excused the outburst by stating that the individual had simply been presenting “alternative facts.” Gee, in a business setting does that mean that Trump didn’t really take a shave-and-a-haircut on that Panama City property, and require Russian mobsters sing it as a ruble laundromat to show a profit?

The same adviser, allegedly a seasoned professional, was caught seemingly blissfully ignorant as to the meaning of The Hatch Act, prohibiting federal employees from political shenanigans on the clock. This would be like not knowing that it’s kind of a bad idea to bullshit the building code inspector. The same advisers husband, a highly respected man, regularly takes to Twitter and the op-ed pages of major newspapers to opine on what a douche nozzle the adviser’s employer is. How long do you suppose an adviser to Rex Tillerson at Exxon-Mobil could survive?

Trump’s Education Secretary actually had to cancel a visit to a school to talk to the kiddies because she didn’t feel safe entering through the mob of angry parents without a more sizable police escort. This would be the equivalent of one of Trump’s property managers needing a tactical squad escort to go from door-to-door collecting the rent every month.

Trump’s personal lawyer and part time Ray Donovan, was such a successful “fixer” that he actually used his own name when filing the articles of incorporation to set up the dummy company to pay off Stormy Daniels and Karen McDougle. I’m no criminal mastermind, but even know that the only name that appears on the paperwork is the “corporate secretary,” who turns out to be some underling that won’t say jack without being presented with a subpoena. The same fixer was such a loyal employee that he hit the “record” button every time he entered the bosses office, or took a phone call from him.

Trump’s other personal attorney, whose only job was to make sure that Trump appeared as pure as the driven snow, was so proficient that he went on the air with the most compliant talking head at FUX News, and explained in great detail how Trump and Cohen set up, and then laundered the payments to Stormy Daniels ad Karen McDougle, forcing the FUX News shill to mumble audibly, “Gee, I didn’t know that. Sounds like Money laundering to me.”

Trump’s Treasury Secretary is such a brilliant financial genius that he was slammed not only by the federal government and the courts for his unethical and illegal packaging of “sub prime” mortgage bundles, he got slapped again for using illegal methods to foreclose on those same mortgages, and had to appear for a serious dressing down to the same congressional committee that he now reports to. In a business sense, this would be like giving Bernie Madoff “a second chance.”

I could go on and on, but why bother? I think you get the point. Serving in a presidential administration is supposed to be a high honor, and reserved exclusively for “the best of the best.” But if this is the cream-of-the-crop that Trump was able to come up with for such exalted positions, imagine what the talent level must have looked like for the top echelon of the mom and pop bodega he was running in New York. If this is what a stable genius looks like, then I guess that Wile E Vyote is out of a job, huh?

To know the future, look to the past. before the insanity of the 2020 election, relive the insanity of the 2016 GOP primary campaign, and the general election, to see how we got to where we are. Copies of  President Evil, and the sequel, President Evil II, A Clodwork Orange  are available as e-books on Amazon, at the links above. Catch up before the upcoming release of the third book in the trilogy, President Evil III: All The Presidents Fen

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3 Comments on "“The Most Successful Business Ever” My *ss"

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Remember no matter what he says, the opposite is true.


Successful?, how can you lose over a Billion dollars in less than 10 years and call yourself successful? By the way the money his father gave him was more like 400 million and he lost that too, so in all you lost close to and probably more than a billion more, and you call that successful WTF you unstable moron

chris whitley
chris whitley

Well he is the most successful business man of all time. Didn’t he personally lose over a billion dollars. No other person has come close. Why I think he’s in the Guinness record book. Top that!