The “D” Word and Empowered Evangelical Hypocrisy

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“If you don’t support me, you’re going to be so g–damn poor.”

Donald Trump stump speech.

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If you are confused when asked about your thoughts on the “D-word,” you likely are employed, have a family and are self-actualized. You might be best served by just moving along. The last thing any of us need is more snowflake victimization to ponder as the evangelical right flexes their new-found muscle.

Others here might be familiar with “the D-word,” as it has been front and center in the most contrived case of the vapors in a long time.

A man in a commercial takes a bite of a burger-like product in a Burger King commercial for a veggie Whopper. The man stares down and says: “Damn, that’s good.”

The average person watching such a commercial has only one reaction. “Bullshit, I’ll bet my damn dog wouldn’t eat that thing …”

But many evangelicals are not average people, and they aren’t wondering why the hell Burger King would create such a monstrosity. They’re stuck on the “D-word,” as in “Damn, did he just say ‘damn’ in a commercial?” Enough of them had the same reaction such that the “D-word” scandal is now rippling across a country that certainly doesn’t have any other pressing issues concerning decency or ethics upon which to concentrate.

Now, I am probably the wrong person to address such a weighty issue, because I think a society that embraces meatless burgers is already in a spiral toward the apocalypse. Additionally, I never rid myself of the adolescent belief that swear words are a value-added benefit to all things funny.

We have a rule in our house; the only bad words are words used to hurt people, doesn’t matter if they are four letters or ten, base or poetic. As one of my fictional characters – who happened to be a Pope – said: “One can use verse like Frost and say something vulgar.” Some words may be improper in certain contexts, sure. And some words are inherently harmful, thus wrong in any context. But, as you can tell, generally-speaking, no one in our home gives a fffff, we don’t care what word you use. Just don’t hurt anyone.

Some people do care, and they’re positive this is hurting them, somehow:

One Million Moms is taking issue with a moment in the commercial when, as they write, “One man is completely shocked that the burger is not beef, so he uses the d-word to describe how he feels about himself for being deceived by the taste of the burger.”

The “d-word” referenced is “damn.” After taking a bite the man says, “damn that’s good.”

I’ll be damned. I never knew that anyone had that much time on their hands.

And who might “million moms” be? Glad you asked, because these people most certainly want you to know. They are used to getting what they want, damn it:

One Million Moms is a division of the American Family Association — which has been named a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center because of its stance on LGBTQ issues— and calls itself an organization for moms who are, “fed up with the filth many segments of our society, especially the entertainment media, are throwing at our children.” The organization has less than 100,000 Facebook followers but recently made headlines for igniting strong backlash to a Zola ad that aired on the Hallmark Channel and included a lesbian couple kissing. The ad was temporarily removed in response to the outcry, before the Hallmark CEO apologized and reinstated it.

A hate group that protested the filth they found on the Hallmark Channel?

Have any of these people actually watched the Hallmark Channel? If they did, they would find a filthy concocted world where everyone is white, good-looking, prosperous and women always fall for the rugged dude from their hometown. The woman is never an orthopedic surgeon or electrical engineer badass, and the guy is never … well, a brilliant but goofy writer. That’s filthy.

Regardless, the American Family Association, you say? These are the exact same people that wear red hats and vote for a guy that brags about his sexual assaults, to say nothing about his language. I actually am offended by Trump’s use of curse words in speeches, because public speaking by the president of the United States invokes one of those contexts we referenced above. The president cannot use such words while speaking in public. Context is key, again, because it would not be inappropriate for the president to lean out the Whitehouse door and yell at the dog, “Damn it, get your four-legged furry ass inside, now!”

So why don’t these million moms take their act to the damned president for whom they overwhelmingly voted?

Glad you asked that, too. Because apparently context matters to these people, also. In this context, the man making such statements is doing God’s work. It is not that I asked them all, I am inferring it from the fact that none of them appear to be ringing the phones at the Warren campaign, asking where they can sign-up to get rid of that damned foul-mouthed, filthy president, the one who tames porn stars while the wife is at home with the newborn.

Which is a damned shame, because one million moms would be a lot of supporters which  … on second thought, keep them. Votes from a group that protests the filth on the Hallmark Channel aren’t worth the trouble. There is already too much hate in the world, and hatred is far more hurtful than words. Plus, they don’t know the meaning of filthy until they put a veggie burger in their mouth, that’s the damned truth.

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Peace, y’all

Jason

jmiciak@yahoo.com and on Twitter @MiciakZoom

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4 Comments on "The “D” Word and Empowered Evangelical Hypocrisy"

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Rutokin
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Rutokin

Hypocrisy at its finest, million moms my ass. I bet that group has less than half of the million they claim. It a damn shame that these morons are so stupid. I guess being a bunch of pompous beeeaaacha’s is the way of the right

Nobsartist
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Nobsartist

It’s time to tax ALL “religions “. Especially the corrupt ones like the catholics….

Dick Panico
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Dick Panico
While I agree most religions are corrupt, and Catholic’s are the biggest and probably the most corrupt. The Televangelists are the (true snake oil salesmen), They prey of the weak and and shut in people to (send some of the little money they have) , while they live in splendor! Lavish estates and private jets , young women and every perversion we can imagine. And they blatantly back , Trump as the chosen one . The Catholic’s are perverted in many ways , But not with money, ( they are wealthy beyond anything ) we can imagine. But they do… Read more »
J.M.
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J.M.

Using the politically correct word “religion” , does not cover up the truth: They are cults. Yes they are cults.