Ted Cruz Challenged Your Right To Masturbate, Said Using A Dildo ‘Akin To Bigamy’

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It comes as little shock that the Republican party, which is obsessed with sexual expression and reproduction, to a pathological degree, would find one of their senators involved in a whack a mole case defending a state law banning the advertisement and sale of sex toys, or “obscene devices” as then-solicitor general Ted Cruz dubbed them. Vanity Fair:

In its brief to the U.S. Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals, Cruz and his team argued that the plaintiffs challenging the law, a group of online retailers and Austin stores that sold sex toys, were not protected under the 14th Amendment’s right to privacy. In fact, he continued, banning obscene devices was in the public interest, and the government should be granted “police powers” for the purposes of “discouraging prurient interests in sexual gratification, combating the commercial sale of sex, and protecting minors.” Furthermore, using “obscene devices,” the state argued, was akin to “hiring a willing prostitute or engaging in consensual bigamy.”

Cruz observed that the law itself did not prevent people from using dildos or artificial vaginas in the privacy of their own homes, but unlike Lawrence v. Texas, the landmark Supreme Court case striking down laws prohibiting certain types of consensual sex, “there is no substantive-due-process right to stimulate one’s genitals for non-medical purposes unrelated to procreation or outside of an interpersonal relationship.” (It is unclear who penned that exact turn of phrase, but one could easily imagine Ted Cruz saying those words to a black-robed judge.)

Sadly for Cruz, and thankfully for the world, his argument was struck down and the law overturned. “The case is not about public sex. It is not about controlling commerce in sex. It is about controlling what people do in the privacy of their own homes because the State is morally opposed to a certain type of consensual private intimate conduct,” the court ruled in a 2-1 decision.

Cruz even considered taking the matter to the supreme court, but decided not to.

Do you suppose the Canadians have any clue how blessed they are that Cruz came down here to muck with our political system and culture as opposed to theirs? But it makes sense. Robin Williams said, “Canada is the nice apartment over the meth lab.” Cruz’ ideas definitely sound like something conceived in a meth lab.

 

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