Takin’ It To The Streets

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In the last paragraph of my previous article, I stated that I understood that people had legitimate concerns about Trump trying to use the military to stave off his removal from office if he loses. We shouldn’t even be having to have this conversation, but since it’s Trump, and it’s 2020, all bets are off. But because it’s Trump and 2020, it’s also a con, which Emperor Numbus Nuttus hasn’t thought through very well.

Let’s start with this. Trump is toast, and even he knows it. A confident candidate with solid polling would never need to ask his supporters to risk federal prison by asking them to vote for him twice in the same election. Also. a confident candidate with solid polling never mentions losing. You have never heard The L Word escape Biden’slips since he started campaigning. But it’s the only word that Trump uses to describe the outcome of the election. You’ve never once heard him say If we don’t win, it’s only because the election was rigged!  With Trump it’s always If we lose, it’s only because the Democrats rigged the election! That’s a losers mentality.

Which is important, because Trump is openly talking about using some arcane dead-sea-scrolls law to call the military into the streets to declare martial law if he loses. The problem here is that in order to do that, the military commander would have to consider it a lawful order to be forced to comply. And General Milley is still licking his wounds after letting trump use him as a prop to clear Lafayette Park for his infamous photo op.

A quick comparison of two marches, conducted by the opposite sides. On January 21st, 2017, The Women’s March descended on Washington DC. Millions of women in adorable knitted pink pussy hats marching through the streets, a kid in hand, while hubby pushed a stroller with another kid, Grandma bring up the rear in her little knitted pink pussy hat. It became the largest single day protest movement in US history, possibly global.

A couple of months ago, Trump angrily tweeted his followers to Liberate Michigan, to try to force Democratic Governor Gretchen Witmer to end the state’s lockdown. Within hours, a horde of slobbering bucket heads descended on the state capitol. waving AR-15’s around and carrying the stars and bars, loudly demanding the Governors immediate lynching from the nearest tree. If you’re General Milley, and Trump issues the orders to march and declare martial law, which group do you think causes the greater risk to the Republic?

But here’s the real rub. Remember, all of Trump’s doom and gloom predictions of rampant and violent anarchy in the streets are based on him losing the election. And in that particular scenario, lies a complete failure in Trump’s pathetic version of linear thinking, but it invalidates his whole point.

Whether it’s on November 3rd, 5th, 8th, or 11th, when the AP finally calls the race for Biden, Trump is right, every democrat and independent in the country will pour into the streets. But not to riot. Instead of everybody running off to try to recreate Bastille Day at the White House, we’ll all be jumping around in masks and screaming, high elbowing each other, and racing off for the nearest liquor store to start a run on champagne, beer, and vodka. And nobody will see any of us for the next week, because the hangovers will be life threatening.

If armed violence comes, it will come from Trump supporters, not Democrats. Even that puddlehead Mike Caputo admitted it, saying in his Facebook rant that When Trump refuses to stand down at the inauguration, that’s when the shooting starts. Gee, sound much like a veiled hint at the signal to commence operations, Mike? With a real Attorney General, you could find yourself looking at conspiracy to incite violence charges, pal.

That’s the real John Carpenter ending twist to this whole thing. If Trump ends up having to send out the troops, either the national guard, or God forbid the army, he’ll be sending them out to quell violence from his own supporters! And if you think that Trump would hesitate for one second to issue the shoot-to-kill order, you haven’t been paying attention for the last 5 years. That’s exactly the kind of Putinesque blaze of glory he’d like to go out with. Fuck ’em, he lost.

And one more thing before I go. Should Trump somehow manage to steal the election, of course you’ll see massive protests in the streets. But not with AR-15’s and Kevlar vests, for God’s sake, gun control is one of the major planks in our platform. Besides, we have 4 long years of practice at peaceful, non violent demonstration. From the Women’s March to the Muslim Ban, from Child Separation to repealing Obamacare, we’ve got it down to a science. And unlike the Trombies, our Mama’s taught us to have manners. And we damn well better remember that, since they’ll be marching right alongside of us.

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