The Textbook Definition Of “Illegitimacy”

You know, whenever I look at the latest outrage of El Pendejo Presidente or his administration, my mind immediately goes back to one of my favorite movies, Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade. In that movie, any time Indiana Jones did something daring or stupid that placed them in danger, his father always exclaimed the same three words, This is intolerable! Which are exactly the same three words I bellow every time I see the latest Trump administration outrage. But earlier today, I took a break from my laser focused disgust at the latest outrage of Glorious Bleater, namely that active duty troops under his ultimate command were not worth protecting from having bounties placed on their heads by some halfwit, former KGB cocksucker. Instead, I took a step back, and looked at the devastated landscape of the last four years under Der Gropinfuror, in a more dispassionate way than I have in quite a while, and in doing so, I came to a personally stunning conclusion. The entire last four years of this country’s history has been completely and entirely illegitimate. There is no other way to look at it. Trump failed to win the popular vote, and he couldn’t even fall back on the time honored American tradition of having the fucking supreme Court hand the election to him. Instead, Trump fell back on micro targeted messaging and disinformation war but Vlad the Imp to propel him to the White House. From the moment Trump befouled the Lincoln bible with his hand, his presidency was illegitimate. But don’t get cocky, we’re just getting started. We are also honored to have a completely Illegitimate Senate Majority Leader. And he was that way when he was the Senate Minority Leader as well. Every time I look at Mitch McConnell, I can’t help seeing Gollum, the pathetic creature from the Lord of the Rings trilogy, so obsessed with the power of his precious that he had lost any mortal feelings or soul that he may have had. Sound about right? Remember this. On inauguration night of 2009, it was McConnell who sat in a restaurant room with his closes cronies, and plotted to make Barack Obama a one term President. He clearly violated his oath of office that night by placing his own personal and party interests above those of the country. His chosen method, total obstruction, McConnell reached the zenith of illegitimacy when he spent almost an entire calendar year refusing to even consider a completely legitimate nominee to fill a vacancy on the Supreme Court of the United States. Which means of course, that we now have a totally illegitimate Supreme Court, and on two counts. The minute Judge Neil Gorsuch accepted his nomination to the Supreme Court, he became illegitimate, and by extension, the court itself. There had been plenty of time for the nomination process for Judge Merrick Garland to run its course, except for the obstruction of Bitch Mcconnell, a clear violation of the traditional Senate role of advise and consent. Even worse was the forced ramming through of a clearly unqualified , possibly on criminal ground, of the nomination of “Brewski” Brett Kavanaugh. The refusal to allow a full investigation of the sexual assault allegations against Kavanaugh alone disqualified him from being confirmed. In any other administration, even if the nominee had refused to step down, the President would have pulled his name. But not […]

The Government CAN’T Help Us If Congress Won’t LET It.

It’s an unfortunate fact of life, at one time or another most Americans need the assistance of the government. Even a walking diaper stain as allegedly rich and powerful as The Pampers President needs government support to get anything done, especially in his current job. The worst part of it is, that to obtain government assistance means dealing directly with the necessary government agency. The prospect of having to deal with Uncle Sam tends to lead to a strong yearning for the return of the days of no Novacaine root canal for most people. Fortunately, my interactions with the behemoth that is known as the US government has been limited, and mostly positive. Back in November, I needed assistance from the Goliath Social Security Administration in putting in a claim for Disability Insurance for my new best friend, blindness. In all three cases, two on the phone and one in person, I found every one of them pleasant, courteous, helpful, and as compassionate as any Samaritan you could meet under difficult circumstances. Maybe the fact that I treated them as human beings and not enemies had something to do with it, but I don’t think so. They honestly wanted to help. The clai is currently processing. But no single department of the sprawling sub continent that is the bureaucracy of government causes more night terrors than the dreaded Internal Revenue Service. The mere thought of having to deal with these revenue leaches immediately turns the individual taxpayer into the albino monk from the DaVinci Code, preferring to strip down and flog him or herself with a saltwater knotted hemp rope than pick up the phone and dial. But here’s the funny thing. The people of the IRS, especially the ones you deal with personally, are not Orcs from the Lord of the Rings. They honestly want to help, but there’s one thing. They have to follow the rules. And who writes those rules? The Congress of the United States. Our duly elected representatives write the tax laws, and the IRS enforces them. And there are no exceptions, freebies, or friends discounts, under penalty of law. But that doesn’t mean that they don’t want to help. Here’s a perfect example. Right now, the IRS is developing a free tax software program for all US taxpayers to use if they so desire. The program would auto populate all applicable parts of the form where the IRS already has the tax info, and would ask probing questions to determine any lesser known, or arcane loopholes and benefits that the taxpayer may qualify for. The best part is that the software would automatically be upgraded with any future changes to the tax laws, so taxpayers would not have to worry about using an obsolete program, The US Senate has a competing bill in the draft stages that would compete with the House bill,, but wold contain similar language barring the IRS from sticking their big, fat, IRS noses into personal tax preparation matters. So, who’s that pissing in the punch bowl? Why, none other than the US Congress, of courses!  In a maliciously deceptively named, bipartisan Taxpayer First Act, recently passed by the House, it specifically forbids the IRS to develop and make avail for distribution and use, their new taxpayer software. Why in the world would they do such a thing to thumb […]

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