WATCH: Mike Pence Attempts A Jedi Mind Trick, ‘You Won’t Be Safe In Joe Biden’s America’

Mike Pence is a fan boy, first and foremost. He dreams at night of being Dick Cheney, but he knows deep down he’s too stupid and not nearly as avaricious. And then he has dreams of being Ronald Reagan, and those make him wet the bed. In his more sober moments, he thinks, well, maybe he could be the Second Coming of Dubya. Hell of an ambition, that. But Pence has gotten as far as Pence is going to go, playing straight man to the worst president in the history of this country — if not the world. And deep down, he knows it. So enjoy watching Mike Pence attempt a Jedi mind trick to convince us all how terrible it’s going to be in Joe Biden’s America. And how lucky you are to live in what’s going on today? We guess? Has Mike Pence looked out the window lately? Maybe Mother won’t let him, because she doesn’t want him to have nightmares. We understand.

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