The Unbearable Pressure Of Trump

There is something afoot that may show that not only Trump, but the entire GOP caucus underneath may be in mortal peril. And it’s something that I didn’t expect, but that, upon calm reflection, really doesn’t surprise me. I had previously written that a number of the GOP sycophant Governors that had enabled Trump’s feeble […]

The Great Trump “Unraveling” Begins.

Hey, what smells in here? Stick a pin in this week. In years to come, when we look back on the sad and sordid history of the Trump Presidency, this will be the week when we realize that the whole damn thing started to come apart at the seams. And to realize that Glorious Tweeter himself kept picking at the thread. This week showed once and for all, the utter, complete, feckless incompetence of the Trump administration. Not only did Trump storm out of Hanoi without his pre-planned Sharpie moment, signing another useless agreement with Kim Dong Pun, but he capped it off by insulting the family of a murdered American student, Otto Warmbier, by siding with his executioner, and thereby ensuring that he shortly faces a public, bipartisan kick in the balls by an enraged congress for being such sa soulless shit. But worse yet for Herr Twitler, was the realization that most of the world didn’t even realize that he was still in Hanoi. Michael Cohen literally owned the airwaves Wednesday, while he dumped a Kansas sized compost heap on top of Trump’s orange whip head. The first time that MSNBC even mentioned Trump and Vietnam that I saw was at 11:50 EST at night, when Brian Williams mentioned the summit, and showed a quick feed of the two tubby despots sitting together. There are two reasons why this past week will mark the beginning of the end for Trump. The first is the investigations. We’re only 10 days in, and already it is 100X worse than Trump ever could have imagined, or that they could prepare him for. Not only is the House Intel committee digging deeper into Trump-Russia, but there are also investigations into the Stephanie Clifford payoff campaign violations, Trump’s taxes, Trump’s association with Deutsche bank, the Trump organization, the goldmine that is Allan Weisselbegs, and even Trump’s children. Trump’s enraged “These investigations must stop NOW” tweet is graphic proof of a man learning the difference between drawing a “red line” for a guy he could fire if needed, and drawing one for a bunch of people who are capable of responding with double barreled birds. The second reason has so far flown pretty much under the radar. When Cohen came out of his closed door session with the House Intel committee on Thursday, his legal adviser, Lannie Davis, commented that Cohen had “broken new ground” with the Intel committee, and that it was a “game changer.” On Friday night, Chris Hayes at MSNBC asked Intel member Eric Swalwell if that had been simply hyperbole from Davis, and Swalwell replied, “Not at all Chris. It was something we had never heard before, and we were literally on the edge of our seats. That’s why he’s coming back next Wednesday, to discuss it further.” Sauron Flackabee Slanders is so full of horseshit. Her favorite “go to” line every time the Toddler in Chief spews bile is that Trump is a “counter puncher. Somebody hits him, and he hits back 10 times harder.” Nothing could be further from the truth. Trump is at his best when he comes out swinging first, setting an opponent back on their heels, and controlling both the confrontation, and the ensuing narrative. When Trump is forced to respond, he inevitably comes off as cheap, petty, vindictive and childish. Every […]

The law that’s going to kill Trump isn’t even in the criminal or civil code.

I fought the law, and the law won   The Clash As a serious comedian (a true oxymoron if I’ve ever heard one), I’ve always had a favorite pet phrase. If I heard somebody say it, I knew where my next joke was coming from. That phrase is “But it seemed like such a good idea at the time.” Of course it seemed like a good idea, or they wouldn’t have done it in the first place. What they keep forgetting is that they were under the influence of 11 Buds and 3 jello shots at the time that they decided that it would be a good idea to moon that cop car from the window of the bus. Donald Trump has spent his entire adult life flouting the law. Criminal law, civil law, tax law, social laws, it’s all the same to him. But none of them apply to him, because he’s rich, he’s powerful, and he’s smarter than anybody else. Yeah, right, and I taught Brad Pitt everything he knows about acting. But there’s one law that actually applies to Trump, and it’s the same one that the idjit keeps tripping over like a pair of untied shoe laces. And that’s the law of unintended consequences. Donald Trump shut down portions of the federal government. He did it even though he didn’t need to. He did it simply because he literally has no idea of what the federal government actually does. And that slobbering battalion of fools wearing MAGA hats cheered him on simply because they don’t have the vaguest idea of what the federal government does either. But they’re learning, and fast. In fact, they’re coming damn close to having a near-death epiphany. On Friday, a MSNBC reporter was interviewing the “little people” about the effects of the “Trump Shutdown,” and one of them actually said, “I support President Trump. I voted for him. And I think he’s doing a lot of good things. But I think he’s making a mistake. He’s hurting the wrong people.” I looked that phrase up in the official Trump-English guide, and what it translates to is :Hey! That stupid bastard is actually hurting me!”  Really? Well, take a bow, fool. You honestly thought that a guy who was a millionaire by the time he was 8 years old actually has the slightest idea of what it’s like to be you? News flash. Life sucks, get a helmet. Make no mistake about it, Trump is now officially hurting his base. In another couple of weeks, Trumpaholics are going to have trouble feeding their kids, because food stamp benefits are going to have to be cut. Puddleheads with “Build that wall!” bumper stickers on their tractors can’t apply for government subsidies to help them take the sting out of the Trump Tariffs because the USDA is shut down.Sam and Suzy Screwemall are gonna get kicked out of their rent assisted apartments because Ben Carson was too busy looking at dining room sets to renew the HUD contracts, and now that department is shuttered.And Preston Whiteshoes is furious because the TSA security line at the Palm Springs airports now up to an hour and a half. These people voted for Trump because they were sick and tired of being shit on by the government, and now they’re getting shit on by Trump. The more things change, the […]

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