This actually started a couple of months ago in my fevered Black Irish mind. At the time, I was writing yet another of my seeming endless sarcastic, caustic articles about His Lowness, and just by happenstance, I took the title of a rather famous song. To be perfectly honest, that title tickled me pink. I […]
*Full Disclosure* Unlike most of my articles,I didn’t actually plan this one, neither did I put a large amount of time into it. Personally, I think that it was an automatic response from my stand up comic bone to relieve the pressure and stress of the last few days, especially the vision of Iranian ballistic missiles disappearing onto the night sky. All I know is that it came to me in a literal blinding flash of manic insanity, almost completely written, and it just felt right. For those of you who didn’t particularly enjoy The Night Before Trumpmas, you might just want to give this one a pass, and wait for my next, more serious article. This article is a parody of, and is sung to the tune of “The Inquisition” from Mel Brooks hysterical History of the World Part I For those of you who have not seen it I have posted the video below the article,, so that the rhythm and syntax of this ditty makes more sense. The Trump Impeachment The Trump impeachment. Go away! The Trump impeachment. You can’t stay! We have a mission, to acquit this clown We’re gonna keep it, outta sight! The facts will never, see the light! Cuz believe us, the clown ain’t going down *Mo, the clown ain’t going down!* Get lost! Don’t be stupid! Begone! Don’t be dumb! The point, you’re ignoring Is Trump has the Senate underneath his thumb! *Oh, yes, he does!* The Trump impeachment, cannot win We won’t convict him, for his sin Cuz me and Lindsey, we put in the fix So, come on you whiny Democrats, you far left leaning little brats You better change your votes before we sail! Cuz the Trump impeachment’s! Going! To! Fail! To know the future, look to the past. before the insanity of the 2020 election, relive the insanity of the 2016 GOP primary campaign, and the general election, to see how we got to where we are. Copies of President Evil, and the sequel, President Evil II, A Clodwork Orange are available as e-books on Amazon, at the links above. Catch up before the upcoming release of the third book in the trilogy, President Evil III: All The Presidents Fen
T’was the night before Trumpmas, and down in Palm Beach An old fashioned holiday seemed out of reach The guests all stood silent, not touching the food As their host stormed around in a terrible mood He ranted and raged and he made quite a scene As he screamed how “The whole damn impeachment’s obscene!” The Chinese intruders all scurried like mice Each hand held a camera, and listening device They planted their spyware and scurried away And flew back to China the very next day Then out in the driveway there came such a sound That everyone’s heads started snapping around The sound was so loud that the whole building shook And Trump ran outside just to take a quick look And what to his wondering eyes should appear But a shiny Zil limo, red flags front and rear The limo pulled in, and then moved up a tad And out of the back seat popped good old Saint Vlad He marched to the porch with a sly, knowing peek And then he kissed Trump on each fat, orange cheek He said to him, “Donald, I’ll fix all your pain But just you remember, the culprit’s Ukraine!” Then he sat on a desk like a bird on a perch And he gave Trump his present, some oppo research “Our software’s upgraded and the boys got the note Next November you win in the popular vote” Then he hopped off his perch and went back to his ride But before getting in he pulled Donald aside “Merry Christmas” he said, :Now you listen and hear Those sanctions had better be gone by next year.” To know the future, look to the past. before the insanity of the 2020 election, relive the insanity of the 2016 GOP primary campaign, and the general election, to see how we got to where we are. Copies of President Evil, and the sequel, President Evil II, A Clodwork Orange are available as e-books on Amazon, at the links above. Catch up before the upcoming release of the third book in the trilogy, President Evil III: All The Presidents Fen
Wow! I feel so, like, all Michael Schmidt and shit. Here I am, thousands of miles from Washington DC, and I have a legitimate scoop on my hands! Through a confidential source( he owes me $50) at the prestigious Bump-n-Grind Publishing House, I was able to get a sneak peek at an upcoming White House tell-all book by author Itzmi Izzatu, a former low level Trump staffer. The book is tentatively titled “I don’t get paid enough for this sh*t.” If the rest of the book is anything like the snippets I saw, they’re going to have to vut down the Redwood National Park to get enough paper for all the copies this thing will sell. Here’s just a few random short excerpts;; I want to make perfectly clear from the start that I loved working in the White House, and that I support what President Trump is trying to do. I’d probably still be there if they hadn’t sneaked into the employees bathroom and caught me on the phone with a NY Times reporter. I tried dropping my pants and claiming I was paying $5.99 a minute to “Bubbles” for this, but they didn’t buy it. Contrary to popular reporting, the Trump White House is a well oiled machine. They get the oil in 55 gallon drums from a NASCAR used oil depository. I can tell you first hand, that there is absolutely no marital discord between the President and the First Lady. Ever since she had that Judas peep installed in the guest bedroom door, the screaming has stopped completely, and you almost never hear national artifacts crashing against the bedroom walls. One hack writer with a total hit job tell-all out reported that John Kelly had told him that Jared Kushner comes into the Oval Office every afternoon to take the President upstairs for a nap, and reads to him from Dr Seuss books. This is utter bullshit. They’re actually pop up books, and the President’s favorite is “The-Little-Engine-That-Could. The President’s first order to the housekeeping staff was to set up weekly direct deliveries from Frito Lay to the President’s bedroom. The secret Service nixed this idea, saying that it would be impossible to ensure that the products had not been poisoned or otherwise tampered with. They offered to have a secretary run down every day to the 7-11 and pick up the stuff, since nobody would know what to tamper with. The President hated this idea, saying that the whole point of the weekly deliveries was to get the bulk discount. The Secret Service settled the issue by offering to instruct the secretary that if the store clerk was busy, she was to jam the bags under her coat and run out the door. Despite persistent rumors, President Trump is neither fed up with, or disappointed in Rudy Giuliani. Despite his occasional shortcomings, the President knows that Rudy Giuliani is only trying to get him off. And if there’s one thing that the President is 100% all in with, it’s anybody who can get him off. At this point, my source burst into the room, grabbed the manuscript, and told me to buy a copy like everybody else. But see what I mean?!? This is what this country needs more of right now, hard hitting, honest, no-holds-barred, in the room reporting […]
T’was the night before Trumpmas, and all through the town Not a creature was stirring, the place was shut down The lobbyists all drove around in their cars Since no one was in the congressional bars The Senate had fled, all those sly little foxes The House hallway held 40 stuffed cardboard boxes The pundits all lined up on opposite sides And each took turns biting the other ones hides The panel hosts all shook their heads in despair They couldn’t believe this was going on air The discourse was reaching pathetic new lows But hey, this is Washington, anything goes The networks just let the fools all have their say Cuz no one was watching the tube anyway When from every pocket there came a loud sound A Donald Trump tweet had just come around They all shut their mouths, and grabbed for their phone Convinced that the tweet was their news alone “Our whole southern border’s one big, crying shame But don’t look at MW, it’s the Democrats blame It ain’t that much money, just five billion bucks And, oh, by the way, my Fed chairman sucks I’m stuck all alone, looking at these four walls Cuz Fox and Friends won’t even answer my calls!” The pundits hearts fell, nothing new here to see But they still had to read all this crap on TV The tweets were all vapid, no substance or plot But they all sucked it up, and and took their best shot Then one final tweet choked them up with great fear “You think this shit’s bad? Just wait til next year!” Follow me on Twitter at @RealMurfster35
They always say that when shit goes south, you can either laugh about it, or cry about it. Personally, I’m sick of washing more hankies than underwear…Hey, a satirist’s gotta do what a satirist’s gotta do. Many profuse apologies to Mel Brooks! Springtime for Twitler Springtime for Twitler, and lunacy Winter for logic and thought […]
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