Tag:Matt Gaetz

QAnon Is the Future of the GOP

Previously, I wrote about the GOP’s 70-year descent into political and social madness, starting with its embrace of Joe McCarthy’s insane “Commies under the bed” conspiracy theories, proceeding through its welcoming of racists and white nationalists into its fold, its embrace of the rabid pseudo-libertarian Tea Party, and now its full-on embrace of Trumpian authoritarianism. It’s always […]

What the F*ck Is Going On with You, Gaetz?

I expect just about any level of idiocy from Matt Gaetz (R-Beer Bong). He’s the idiot who cribbed garbage conspiracy theories from Reddit for a House amendment calling for the prosecution of Hillary Clinton and James Comey. He’s the lunatic who brought a white supremacist to the State of the Union address. He’s the jackass who threatened House witness Michael Cohen on Twitter, and demanded to be allowed to take part in the Cohen hearing even though he isn’t a member of the House Judiciary Committee. He’s the traitor who led a squad of fellow traitors into a highly secure Capitol Building facility to disrupt the Trump impeachment hearings. He’s the assclown who wore a gas mask (see the photo above) on the House floor to mock the precautions being taken in light of the COVID-19 virus. (When one of his constituents died from the virus days later, Gaetz sent thoughts and prayers. Mighty big of him.) And, he’s the sorry shit who posted on Twitter recommendations that the US military “hunt down” members of the so-called “antifa” movement because they are “terrorists.” But now…I’ll admit. I’m flabbergasted. Two days ago, as documented by our own Mama Zoom, Gaetz got his ass handed to him by black Democratic Rep. Cedric Richmond. Richmond spoke at length about the Republicans’ greasy efforts to derail the House floor discussion of police brutality against people of color: I am absolutely sitting here offended. To my colleagues, especially the ones that keep introducing amendments that are a tangent and a distraction from what we’re talking about, you all are white males, you never lived in my shoes and you do not know what it’s like to be an African American male. … If you are opposed to this legislation, let’s just have a vote. But please don’t come in here and make a mockery of the pain that exists in my community. Gaetz, who doesn’t have an iota of decency in his privileged white body, leapt up and berated Richmond. It didn’t work. But one statement Gaetz made before being dragged from the floor kicking and screaming, er, being gaveled into silence, was this: Are you suggesting that you’re certain that none of us have nonwhite children? Richmond refused to take the bait, and eventuallly Gaetz returned to sulky silence and absent-minded crotch scratching. But the next day, something unexpected happened. Gaetz, who is 38, unmarried, and has never once spoken about family other than his parents and siblings, took to Twitter to announce that he…wait for it…has a son! He is the father of a proud baby boy…wait a minute…a proud teenager, my bad, named Nestor, who came over, quite legally, Gaetz assures us, from Cuba six years ago when he was 12. And Gaetz has been his proud daddy ever since. For all those wondering, this is my son Nestor. We share no blood but he is my life. He came from Cuba (legally, of course) six years ago and lives with me in Florida. I am so proud of him and raising him has been the best, most rewarding thing I’ve done in my life. pic.twitter.com/JB96wzOzYU — Matt Gaetz (@mattgaetz) June 18, 2020 Um…wut? Gaetz suddenly has a son? For how many years? He admits that the young man in question, Nestor Galban, isn’t related to him, and he […]

70-Year Old Takes on 2 (3?) GOP Congress Critters on Twitter. GOP Badly Outgunned.

I’m not a huge fan of Ron Perlman the actor. I liked Hellboy, hated Alien: Resurrection, and haven’t watched Sons of Anarchy because I think the title is pretentious (I understand it is excellent, so likely a bad decision on my part). But he obviously eats belligerent little boys masquerading as “lawmakers” for breakfast. Twitter is, in a lot of ways, an ever-simmering fondue pot of weasel shit that sometimes comes to a boil and spatters everyone at the table. Over the last few days it boiled over. It started with one of the biggest idiots in the Republican caucus, Representative Matt Gaetz (R-Giggles at Fart Jokes). Gaetz didn’t take well to the US Soccer’s Board of Directors decision to repeal its policy requiring athletes to stand for the National Anthem. Showing an amazing lack of give-a-shit about Black Lives Mattering a damn, Gaetz responded that he’d rather see the US Soccer program disbanded than an athlete taking a knee during the anthem. I’d rather the US not have a soccer team than have a soccer team that won’t stand for the National Anthem. You shouldn’t get to play under our flag as our national team if you won’t stand when it is raised. — Matt Gaetz (@mattgaetz) June 11, 2020 You shouldn’t get to play under our flag as our national team if you won’t stand when it is raised. Don’t even get me started on the First Amendment and the Constitutionally given right to stand, sit, take a knee, or guzzle an entire bottle of Old Panther Sweat during the anthem. Just fuck off, Gaetz, you ignorant fascist. The Twitterati apparently felt the same. After some epic dragging by people calling themselves NastyJerseyGirl and La Bifurcated Penis Strangiato (okay, I make shit up sometimes), among others, Perlman weighed in. The US Soccer team called and you guessed it… said they couldn’t give any less of a fuck about what you two dipshits think. @realDonaldTrump @mattgaetz — Ron Perlman (@perlmutations) June 13, 2020 Yeeowch. Compared to some of the other responses, Perlman’s wasn’t a carefully crafted insult pearl, but it had plenty of backhand to it. Gaetz, predictably, didn’t like it, and since Perlman wasn’t physically anywhere around to send Gaetz scurrying under the furniture, he answered. This racial justice warrior had no problem in Hollywood portraying the White Supremacist leader of a motorcycle gang. #SOA https://t.co/mKUFz4y5ru — Matt Gaetz (@mattgaetz) June 14, 2020 Oooh. Now this is the work of a veteran internet troll. “Racial justice warrior.” “Hollywood.” Nice Fox News callouts, fartboi. Also notice that Gaetz doesn’t seem to understand that Perlman’s choice to play a white supremacist biker gang leader on TV doesn’t make him a hypocrite if, in real life, he is a #BLM supporter. Which he is. No one ever accused Gaetz of having any mental firepower. Or consistency, since he brought an actual white supremacist, the odious Chuck Johnson, to the State of the Union address. (Gaetz’ defense? “I had no idea who he was.” Gaetz is an infantile liar.) Perlman pointed that out a little later during their exchange: Try again? Dude, you brought a Holocaust denier to the State Of The Union. Doesn’t get sicker than that. Buzz off punk, it’s past your bedtime. https://t.co/mFRiR9I2jw — Ron Perlman (@perlmutations) June 15, 2020 […]

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