For McConnell, The Holidays Can’t Go By Quick Enough

Merry Christmas! And don’t forget the damn batteries! The more I watch, and y’all know I watch, the more I start to look at Mitch McConnell’s Senate as some kind of political Burning Man. Once a year, the GOP throws together a huge pile of shit that they don’t want anymore, and then give the local fire marshal a heart attack. And this year is no different, possibly the best Burning Man eva! Let’s just do a quick status check on the principal players on this Christmas Eve eve, shall we? Trump is stomping around Mar-A-Lago in a filthy mood, threatening the housekeeping staff with INS visits, and eating cold gruel. McConnell is sitting around moping, slowly coming to understand how Trump feels getting played by a woman. Ghouliani is scurrying around, anxiously trying to find a way of disappearing Lev Parnas without having it come back on him. And Nancy Pelosi is enjoying the best holidays she’s had in eight years. It didn’t have to be this way. All they had to do was to follow the old axiom, Even a bass wouldn’t get into trouble if it kept its big mouth shut! All McConnell had to do was to stand behind the podium like somebody stood the casket on it’s end at a wake, and drawl on about how seriously he took this most solemn responsibility, and all Leningrad Lindsey had to do was to keep checking Trump’s colon for early warning signs of cancer. But no, they had to shoot off their mouths, and then the shit hit the fan. See, here’s the thing. This impeachment mess isn’t news to McConnell, he’s known it’s been coming for weeks now. The only suspense he’s had was how many articles of impeachment, and for what. McConnell has had all the time in the world to cobble together the rules for the trial in the Senate. Under normal circumstances, the House would have voted articles of impeachment on Wednesday, passed the articles over to the Senate on Wednesday night or Thursday morning, and on Friday McConnell would have rammed through the rules for the trial like it was another district court judge. But McConnell and Graham had to go and piss in the holiday punch bowl, and now he has a three week delay on his hands. Right now, impeachment isn’t the worst “I” word in the English dictionary for McConnell, information is. Because, while right now the GOP incumbents are all sitting at home pretending to be having a good time with the kiddies instead of sitting in their offices taking corporate campaign contributions for 2020, the Washington press corps is busy hitting the bricks. There is literally nobody in DC to cover for the next two weeks, so the press corps is free to dig in and stick their noses where they don’t belong. And they’ll have all kinds of empty column inches to dill up with whatever they find. Past White House administrations put out the news they wanted with daily press briefings, but the Trump shit show upgraded that to daily press leakings. Da Boss might be safely tucked up down in Florida, but the drones are still at their desks. In the mosh pit that is the Trump White House, there are still scores to be settled, and axes to grind. And settled and […]

Something makes absolutely NO sense about this Michael Cohen situation.

OK, I’ll admit it, I’m a dumbass. But, be that as it may, I just don’t get it. Don’t get me wrong, There’s nothing I love more than hearing Trump on tape, sounding like an even bigger dumbass than I am when he asks “What payment?” to Michael Cohen, forcing him to inform His Lowness that […]

Strong leader Donald Trump blames his leaking staff for all his problems

Poor, poor Donald Trump. All of his a-MAZ-ing accomplishments in the White House are being undermined by the fact that his staffers go running to the media with leaks after every meeting. Anyway, that’s how Trump sees it—because heaven knows, the...

Trump Is Phobic and Paranoid, Daily Staff Meetings Canceled While He Ferrets Out ‘Traitors’

Remember how Howard Hughes cracked up, living in one room with blackout curtains, surrounded by sycophants who personally prepared his food and never even handed Hughes anything unless it was wrapped in a kleenex, i.e. “insulation” from human contamination? It could be argued that Hughes was an insane genius considering his contributions to aviation and […]

Donald Trump Accuses Members of His Own White House Staff of Treason

The morale at the White House just took another deep dive into the abyss of the Shakespearean tragedy it has become. Donald Trump's administration is already notable for suffering the worst retention rate in history with dozens of top-level staffers...

“Stupid is as stupid does.” Mick Mulvaney and other White House Morons.

For most of his career in congress, Mick Mulvaney was a typical Republican politician. Namely, he found himself a safe district full of fools that kept reelecting him, took oodles of campaign contributions from corporate shills, and kept his mouth shut and flew under the radar. But, since being names the director of the Office […]

Questions Likely Did Not Come From Mueller: Poor Grammar Means White House Leaked Them

So, yesterday, the media found itself a-tither about all those “questions” that Mueller’s office wanted to ask Trump. At the same time, I found myself not knowing what to believe, because Mueller’s team does not “leak” things, nor does the New York Times make things up. Contrary to what Trump wants people to believe, if […]

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