Defending The Indefensible

To dream the impossible dream. To fight the unbeatable foe   Man of La Mancha You know, if they had any distinguishing human characteristics at all, such as morals, a conscience, guilt, ethics, or a sentient soul, it would be easier to pity the peripatetic leeches in off-the-rack suits that masquerade as GOP House members. For they truly have an impossible task set before them. For five weeks now, ever since the whistle blowers accusations became public knowledge, and the Democrats started holding structured hearings into the allegations, the House GOP, with a cheap assist from Senate sea slugs like Lindsey Graham, have attacked the process of the House investigation. The process is being held behind closed doors, the testimony is secret, nobody knows who the whistle blower is, and therefor cannot judge his or her credibility, yada, yada, yada. This is because they immediately realized that if half of what the whistle blower was alleging was true, it was game, set, and match. But now, like in any good quagmire, the sludge has shifted under the feet of the House GOP. Glorious Bleater had another brain belch, limbered up those stubby digits, and angrily tweeted out that it was time for the House GOP to quit dicking around about process, and move in for the kill and defend him on the facts of the case! But how can they do that, when the facts make Richard Nixon look like an upright citizen? Actually, both of these things can be compatible in Trump’s mind, but only if you remember three things about his personality. And those things are that Trump is totally transactional, Trump is totally self centered, and Trump has the attention span of a three day old puppy. As long as you keep those three things in mind, you can easily see that anything is possible for Trump. In Trump’s mind, his telephone conversation with Ukrainian President Zelensky actually was a “prefect call.” Thoughts of Joe Biden fill Trump’s Depends to overflowing every time he has one. Trump had something that Zelensky wanted, namely oodles of cash, and Javelin anti-tank missiles. Trump remembered that Biden was involved in something or other having to do with the Ukraine back when he was VP, and that his kid got a cushy job with their natural gas company because of his name. Trump tells Zelensky that he can have the simoleons and Javelins after he provides Trump with a bucket of shit to dump over Biden’s head. How much more perfect can a call go? As I said earlier, in Trump’s mind, quid pro quo is a Greek seafood dish. There are two of the facets of Trump’s personality here’s the third. Trump forgot the contents of that phone call, as well as the particulars, within five minutes of hanging up the phone. He had made the call, done what he wanted to do, so he was done with it. Besides, it was 3:30, and time for his Sara Lee Family Size Cinnamon Nut Crunch Coffee Cake, washed down with a 12 pack of Diet Coke. It may be sideways, but Trump is a growing boy. When Trump was reminded by senior staff that other people had been listening in on the call, and that they thought that he was the dumbest shit since Barney Fife, Trump had the call log placed on a super secret, ultra secure server. Crisis averted. So as you can see, given […]

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