Tag:Christmas

Best Wishes to All for the Merriest Blue Xmas and a Bountiful Blue Wave New Year

Christmas is upon us once again, and families around the nation - and the world - are sharing in the warmth of the season....

Here are some Donald Trump Mad Libs you can play with your loved ones during the winter holidays

Mad Libs are easy and fun. They’re a great way to teach children what adverbs are! They are also a simple way to have...

‘Santa Jaws’ Is The Funniest Present You’ll Get This Year

Friends and fellow Zoomers, we at PolitiZoom have taken a sacred vow to direct our readers to those artistic efforts which are so horrifically bad, that they’re great — not to mention hilarious — and to award such nefarious offerings, all at the same time. Few cinematic efforts are worthy of our highest honor, the Zoscar, (a statue in the shape of a furry white bear paw with prominent claws, otherwise known as a “FawPaw”) but this year one film has distinguished itself and will take home the prize. This epic is called “Santa Jaws.” It was produced by the same people who brought us “Sharknado” a masterpiece which tried to hire Donald Trump to play the president of the United States, before reality took a deranged fork in the road and  he got the honor for real and was unavailable to play it on the silver screen. And believe us, the writers of “Sharknado” could not dream up scenarios and dialogue remotely approaching the bizarro alternate universe that Trump has provided us extemporaneously, albeit unintentionally. Twas the night before Christmas and all through the reefNot a creature was swimming in fear of those teeth. The fear of carnage and destruction filled everyone with dreadFor Santa Jaws was coming and they all would soon be dead. — ????Plague Daddy???? (@Arrogant_Shark) December 24, 2019 "Ho, Ho, Ho, you son of a Fish." Santa Jaws (2018) — ???? Alfred Murphy ???? (@AlfredMurphy99) December 24, 2019 Feast your eyes and ears and be glad that smell-o-vision hasn’t been invented yet, because this movie really stinks. Go over to SyFy, without further ado and hear how the ominous ba bomp music as the shark swims through the water has been replaced with jingle bells. Seriously, you have to see this. The runner up for this year’s Zoscar was a late entry for worst movie of the year, and a definite contender for worst movie of the decade, the screen version of “Cats!” I predicted that horror months ago. Here’s what I wrote in July, when the first trailer came out. Turns out I was right. Rolling Stone gave “Cats!” zero stars. They called it, “a Broadway musical straight out of the litter box” Ouch. Let the sheer grinding monotony of Cats stand as a measuring stick for future cinematic takes on Broadway musicals that hope to match its unparalleled, bottom-feeding dreadfulness. In his prize-winning Angels in America, playwright Tony Kushner wrote a scene in which the rat-bastard lawyer Roy Cohn is on the phone sucking up to a client who wants tickets to a Broadway smash. When the caller says, “Cats,” Cohn sticks his fingers down his throat and mock vomits. Look for that gesture to be repeated by all who must endure this hellish fiasco of a film version. This disaster of a movie shouldn’t happen to a dog. The Los Angeles Times calls it a “CGI generated horror.” Take :37 and check out this travesty. CATS (2019) OFFICIAL TRAILER // THEATER AUDIENCE REACTION#CatsMovie pic.twitter.com/3xudBcIpOX — Will Tempfer (@wtempfer) July 19, 2019 Seriously, when top critics start echoing and amplifying the sentiments of your humble reviewer here at PZ, namely myself, when the spirit of Addison DeWitt (remember the evil theater critic in “All About Eve?”) descends upon me, you know that a show is a castastrophic bomb — no pun […]

New GOP argument against impeachment: It will ruin Christmas

You may remember Matt Whitaker as the bald dude who was Trump’s acting attorney general for a couple of months for some reason. No one...

Loyal dog waits six months at a Siberian bus stop for his person to return

A dog abandoned at a bus stop in Siberia got a new home for Christmas after loyally waiting six months in vain for his...

Trump video chats with troops on Christmas rather than going 10 miles to visit in person

Former Presidents Barack Obama and George W. Bush spent part of every Christmas day since 2002 visiting troops. Guess who didn’t keep up that recent...

Christmas Meltdown Shows Mentally Unfit President.

For a President who in his first year waged a faux war so he could declare victory in the non-existent war against Christmas, Trump...

As Trump Claims Workers Support Shutdown for Border Wall, Unpaid Federal Employees Set Record Straight With ‘Shutdown Stories’

As President Donald Trump on Tuesday claimed without a shred of evidence that "many" furloughed or unpaid federal workers support the ongoing government shutdown...

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Can I just say: Ashli Babbitt is the culprit responsible for the death of Ashli Babbitt

Monday night on Tucker Carlson, Aaron Babbitt demanded the name and identification of the Capitol officer who shot his wife,...
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Yet another Republican realizes his political ambitions require embracing Trump's Big Lie

Add Arizona attorney general and Senate hopeful Mark Brnovich to the list of Republicans who’ve decided that their political...

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The exploiting of and problems with the 1st amendment

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