DonkeyHotey / Flickr Donald Trump Caricature...
DonkeyHotey / Flickr

Time to draft your “Word-Team” for the State of the Union Word Fantasy League. As you know, the State of the Union is set for Tuesday evening and as of yet, Trump has not announced plans to give the speech off the Truman balcony, dressed in a military jacket and jawing on a cigar.

For the purposes of fantasy action, you are to draft one word from each division. Each word is assigned a price such that no one person can purchase all the obvious words such as “bigly,” or “genius.” Each time Trump uses a word from your “Word Team” in the speech, you will be assigned points, one point for regular use, two points if the word is immediately followed by applause, and three if Trump says the word and immediately fires a gun into the air.

This year’s speech looks to provide plenty of action. In previous administrations, the subject matter and vocabulary limited the number of players in each household to those with some basic high school  This year promises fun for everyone aged 8 and up! Be sure to pick your team carefully, as no one wants to be left holding words like “MENSA” and “diet” when the president leaves the building.

Your “team” salary is one million dollars and you must remain within the salary cap.

The “Too Expensive Division”: Price $1,000,000.01

  1. Best,
  2. Greatest
  3. Most
  4. Very
  5. Highest
  6. Fastest
  7. Ever
  8. “I”
  9. “Me” with, or without “Believe”
  10. Beautiful

The “Enemies Division”: Price $950,000

  1. Obama
  2. Leaks
  3. Warrants
  4. Trade
  5. FBI
  6. Londoners
  7. Stormy
  8. Salad
  9. NATO
  10. Good-Governance

The “Danger Division”: Price $100,000:

  1. Investigation
  2. Obstruction
  3. Porn Stars
  4. Kenya
  5. Button
  6. Golf
  7. KFC
  8. Melania
  9. Collusion
  10. Fire and/or Fury

The “All My Friends Division:” Price $10.00

  1. Republicans
  2. Fox
  3. Vlad
  4. teleprompter
  5. Roy Cohn
  6. Wall
  7. Evangelical
  8. Steve
  9. Dog
  10. “Cellie”

The “Unicorn Division”: Price: $00.01

  1. Bipartisan
  2. Prayer
  3. Portugal
  4. Homework
  5. honor
  6. svelt
  7. good-will
  8. god-willing
  9. Feminism
  10. Patriot

Free: “I’m Sorry”

*Remember to report all winnings to the I.R.S. and under this years new tax laws, losses over $4.00 can be written off of income over $100,000!

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