Dan Sullivan / YouTube Lisa Murkowski Alaska Needs Dan Sullivan...
Dan Sullivan / YouTube

Yeah, I remember feeling this way after Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan. No fucking way can they make another Friday the 13th movie. I mean, that’s ridiculous, right?

Twenty years later, after three more sequels and a reboot, I looked like a damn fool.

Not as foolish as Sen. Lisa Murkowski, of course. If she really thinks there are lasting political consequences to trying to kill your own vice president, she hasn’t been paying close attention the past four years.

Donald Trump has created a Borg hive without all the clunky face lasers. His supporters thought Mike Pence was trying to overthrow the government, not Trump. Ideally, we’d lock Trump in a Hannibal Lecter cell when this is all over. Barring that, keeping him from ever running for office again is the best we can do.

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REPORTER: “[Are you concerned] if the Senate does not act and bar Donald Trump from running for office again, that he could run again and that he could incite the same mob of supporters here?”

MURKOWSKI: “Frankly, I don’t see how after the American public sees the full story laid out here, not just in one snippet on this day and another on that, but this whole scenario that has been laid out before us. I just, I don’t see how Donald Trump could be reelected to the presidency again.”

If Donald Trump gets it into his vapid, cream cheese sculpture of a head that he wants to be president again, he won’t let a silly impeachment stop him. Murkowski is a likely vote for conviction, but Lindsey Graham, for instance, has already pronounced our king-sized Hickory Farms holiday shart sampler innocent.

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And Trump’s followers aren’t watching the impeachment! How is any of this going to convince them?

It’s safe to say that most Republican members of Congress would like Trump to simply go away. Maybe into a parallel timeline where we’ve never had a president who, on a good day, looks like a half-eaten bucket of KFC and on a bad day looks like Donald Trump.

The fact that they’ll almost certainly vote to acquit Trump shows you how much power he still wields. If he had an impartial jury, the vote would likely be 100-0. I mean, the jurors very well could have been murdered as a direct result of Trump’s words and actions, and yet he will almost certainly skate.

So, no, I don’t think Murkowski or any other senator should be able to hide behind “Donald Trump’s political future is over.” We all assumed that after the Access Hollywood tape, too.

He’s a clear and present danger until his purpling corpse is shoved out to see on an ice floe. And even then I’ll worry.

”This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — BETTE MIDLER on author ALDOUS J. PENNYFARTHING, via TwitterNeed a thorough Trump cleanse? Thanks to Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, Dear F*cking Lunatic, Dear Pr*sident A**clown and Dear F*cking Moron, you can purge the Trump years from your soul sans the existential dread. Only laughs from here on out. Click those links, yo!

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12 COMMENTS

  1. Serial killers keep on killing. We know this man has no remorse, no empathy. He is not fit to ever be in public office again and should be convicted.

  2. I voted for Ronald Reagan in 1980, when the rot of the GOP started us on this anti-Democratic slide. Just how many tax breaks have the filthy rich received. How much hate and vitriol have they spewed since pitting United States citizens against one another. All with the “blessing” of the biggest anti-Christian bunch on the planet. Watching the GOP go down in flames is the best I can hope for our children. They’re growing up fast and taking notes of how things are to how they should be. If not God help us!

  3. And in Breaking News !.. Scientist have found the lowest, most primitive form of life is not the single cell amoeba that thrives in swamps, but is actually Sen Lindsey Graham.
    The discovery also revealed how this primitive scum slime survives in its natural habitat. In order for it to live off others, it clings on to its enemy like a sucker fish does to a shark, encouraging food morsels from other parts of the swamp so it avoids being eaten itself. It will even portray a ‘veneer of swamp friendship’ to other lower forms, only to convince the shark to eventually devour its former ally to preserve itself.
    But the most remarkable discovery was the fact it can’t reproduce, it has no obvious gender organs or traits or interests for the opposite sex as it has no equal in the swamp culture..
    Investigations are continuing..

  4. Murkowski and collins are playing us again. They are both dangerous supporters of donnie. They tell half truths until it is time to Vote and then they see the light. Remember kavanaugh!!!!!!

  5. I remember hearing that two times with the a-hole. Seems to me it was said after Mueller report. Then we find out next day he tried to bribe a foreign president to do his dirty work. Then after he was impeached for that they said it again and he tried to over throw our democracy. When are you idiots going to learn. Trump is a cancer on our way of life. He doesn’t care about anything but the power presidency. If you idiots don’t block that he will be on the ballot come 2024.

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