I grew up in Wisconsin, so I happen to know there are thousands of Ron Johnsons haunting various backwater dairyland redoubts, oafishly sounding out exotic menu items like “jalapeño poppers” at supper clubs, ordering one brandy Old-Fashioned after another, and dribbling chunky rivulets of tartar sauce down their chins onto musty, antediluvian wool suits as they race against each other to see who can fully transform into giant ambulant pee stains before the bar closes.
And as horrifying as that scene is to a young impressionable child, I wasn’t truly horrified until one of these characters became the junior U.S. senator from Wisconsin. (We now refer to him as the senior senator from Wisconsin, and not just because he has no idea how to cancel his 28-year-old AOL account.)
Anyway, this incorrigible clown penis was on Vicki McKenna’s Madison, Wisconsin-based radio show on Thursday, and displayed a lack of logic and wealth of ignorance befitting the Badger State’s worst Ron Johnson.
Johnson offered this toxic, wilted word salad.
JOHNSON: “From my standpoint, because it’s not a fully approved vaccine, I think we probably should have limited the distribution to it to the vulnerable, to people that really aren’t … to the very young, I see no reason to be pushing vaccines on people and I certainly am going to vigorously resist any kind of government abuse or imposing of vaccine passports, but the private sector gets to do it for government, and that could be a very freedom-robbing step, and people need to understand these things. So again, you’re talking about climate change is the next step. I don’t think they’re going to let go of COVID anytime soon. What is the point? The science tells us the vaccines are 95% effective. So if you have a vaccine, quite honestly, what do you care if your neighbor has one or not? What is it to you? You’ve got a vaccine and science is telling you it’s very, very effective. So why is this big push to make sure everybody gets a vaccine? And to the point where you better impose it, you’re going to shame people, you’re going to force them to carry a card to prove that they’ve been vaccinated so that they can participate in society. I’m getting highly suspicious of what’s happening here.”
(Note: McKenna hasn’t posted her archives as of this writing, so I’m not sure about the context of this clip, other than that these two people are consistently fucking awful.)
Okay, as for not being a “fully approved vaccine,” Johnson appears to be acknowledging that the COVID-19 vaccines are currently being offered through an FDA emergency use authorization. Not sure if you can reasonably say that that means they’re not “fully approved,” but either way, it certainly doesn’t mean they’re not safe.
As the FDA itself explains, “Clinical trials are evaluating investigational COVID-19 vaccines in tens of thousands of study participants to generate the scientific data and other information needed by FDA to determine safety and effectiveness. These clinical trials are being conducted according to the rigorous standards set forth by the FDA.”
First of all, this hesitancy is a little ironic. After all, had it been up to Donald Trump, we probably would have had “fully approved” vaccines last April made of fairy dust, cat piss, and nougat. That said, there’s no reason to fear these vaccines, no matter what your age.
Secondly, if companies require vaccine passports to allow people to “participate in society,” that’s a free-market decision. For some reason, I thought Johnson and his ilk were fans of the free market. Business owners deciding not to let pestilent peeps on their premises is a hallmark of freedom.
Finally, a 95% effective vaccine is excellent, but that means that it’s 5% ineffective. I know I wouldn’t go to Disneyland if there was a 5% chance I’d get shot in the head. I mean, if I’m stuck all afternoon at Disneyland, I want the sweet release of death to be assured. (Okay, Disneyland was a bad example. Let’s say Dave & Buster’s.)
Also, there’s the matter of variants. Johnson may claim to believe in evolution, but that doesn’t mean he understands it. The longer we let this virus run rampant, the bigger the chance it will mutate into a pathogen that can break through the vaccines—in which case we’ll basically be starting all over again.
So, yes, this is about as irresponsible—and dumb—as it gets. But what else could you possibly expect from RoJo the Clown?
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