It’s hard to remember sometimes that Tim Ryan ran for president during the last election cycle. I kind of recall seeing him during the debates. He showed up for a cup of coffee, and it was lukewarm Sanka with a knockoff Sweet ‘n’ Low.

But Monsignor Shits McGoo, does this ever stand out:


RYAN: “I want to thank the gentleman from New York and the other Republicans who are supporting this and thank them for their bipartisanship. To the other 90% of our friends on the other side of the aisle: Holy cow! Incoherence! No idea what you’re talking about. Benghazi. You guys chased the former secretary of state all over the country, spent millions of dollars. We have people scaling the Capitol, hitting the Capitol Police with lead pipes across the head and we can’t get bipartisanship! What else has to happen in this country?! Cops! This is a slap in the face to every rank-and-file cop in the United States. If we’re going to take on China, if we’re going to rebuild the country, if we’re going to reverse climate change, we need two political parties in this country that are both living in reality, and you ain’t one of them!”

Did I get enough exclamation points in there? Are there enough exclamation points in the cosmos for that rant?

Straight. Fire. Yo.

Thanks, Rep. Ryan. You are all of us today … and then some.

It made comedian Sarah Silverman say “THIS IS FUCKING BRILLIANT” and prompted author Stephen King to shout “Pulitzer Prize!!!” (on Twitter, that is). What is it? The viral letter that launched four hilarious Trump-trolling books. Get them all, including the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this link. Just $12.96 for the pack of 4! Or if you prefer a test drive, you can download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE.

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