I debated whether to write about this guy, thinking that he doesn’t deserve attention, but then thought; “Fuck it, this guy is going to eat this.”

These are the words of faux “man” Dave Daubenmire, who thinks he and his gunz provide an answer to the slaughters that occur all too regularly in our schools. Drink this “man of God,” in:

“Instead of the aftermath of these shootings in Florida being, ‘Hey, dude,’ where young guys are saying to each other, ‘I’m gonna learn to fire a gun, I ain’t ever gonna let this happen again, I’m gonna learn to fire a gun,’ instead the reaction is, ‘Oh, please take the guns away.’ The exact opposite message! Meet power with power! That’s manhood, masculinity!” Daubenmire preached.

“Most guys don’t have the stones to stand up and say, ‘I don’t care what you say! It don’t bother me! Here’s what I think! Suck on that one, bud!’” Daubenmire shouted.

Hey, dude?

I’ve got this fantasy that you see this. Because I’ve got a few things I’d like to “chat” with you about.

First of all, where the fuck were the English teachers when you grew up? Wait, don’t answer that, because I know where they were. They were right in front of you, patiently attempting to teach you how to speak and write like an adult. They just couldn’t reach someone who knew it all, already. We know your type, there’s one in the Oval Office this very moment.

Second, I really don’t know who you’re talking to, dude, because I know that if the country were to hold a vote right now upon who is showing the most “manliness” (something that appears quite important to you), or who has shown the most “stones” in this debate, you’d place a distant second to those kids from Parkland. They would work your over like a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest, half their brains tied behind their heart. That’s because they know that a “real man” thinks well ahead of time, doing all he (or she) can to protect all those around them, does what he (or she) can to “deescalate” tensions wherever found, attempts peaceful solutions, he or she does not want to find themselves in situations where people get hurt. Your deep-rooted desire to shoot someone as an act of testosterone-fueled faux-heroism is counterproductive, ultimately the act of a loser, a baby, a boy.

Last, you have not earned the right to say shit to these kids. Until you have gone through what they have, don’t pretend to think that you have any idea how you would react in such a situation. I suppose you don’t have the education required to see that the ultimate goal to mentally-well people is to see a decrease in the amount of killing, not an increase. Perhaps we should just look on you with pity. I feel awful for what those kids went through, but I don’t pity them. They are ten times the real “people of Christ” that you pretend to be, and ten times stronger. You’re not fit to walk in their shoes. So, shut-up, and get out of their way.

Thankfully, they don’t need me to defend them. They could take care of you, and many just like you, if they had time. But, they don’t. They’re busy making a better country for themselves and their kids, winning where we’ve lost. Their generation damn sure isn’t going to elect someone like ours did, your hero, Trump. They’re better than us, and from here on out it’s their country we’re living in, not yours or mine, “bro.” Thank god. The real “God,” that is, the one that called on us to be blessed “peacemakers,” “meek,” “love one another,” dude, all those things that try to ensure that the next “shooter” never gets a damn gun in his hands in the first place, so we deprive you of your fantasy to kill someone, and alleviate my nightmare, the phone call saying someone is dead.

Oh, last thing, man-boy. Don’t come anywhere near any of the women I hang out with. They will work your pretend manliness over with far less sympathy than I have had. They sure as shit don’t need you to protect them. My ten year old daughter laughed, out loud, at your video, having seen all too many of “you” in her short time on Earth. She, too, doesn’t have time for your message.

I am posting his video here. But, I’d ask that readers only click on it to disperse it out through the world and expose this pretender for what he is, scared. Otherwise, don’t bother. The clicks will feed an ego that needs to be clipped.

Good luck with your “thing,” bro. You’re a dinosaur. My daughter and these kids will look at this video like they do the bones at the museum, something fierce-looking, but went extinct through one seismic event, a force of nature that made the world safer for higher brained animals.

Liked it? Take a second to support Jason Miciak on Patreon!

3 COMMENTS

  1. These tragic events bring out all the nuts. It would take some kind of pervert to think of kids in that way, to start with. Maybe he just needs an exorcist.

    • I’d be happy to “exorcise” that old dinosaur! Just have him meet me at the intersection of Lisbon and State streets and I’ll do it right there in public while everyone watches and hears his putridness from the mic we put near him.

      Now, where’s my kit? Oh, in the trunk! Knew I had it with me!

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here