Trish Mayo / Flickr National School Walkout...
Trish Mayo / Flickr

Ya know, sometimes ya just can’t teach them something, they have to burn their fingers on the hot stove. And I think it’s about to happen twice in the same year. I realized that Donald Trump and the NRA have something in common, other than the fact that the mention of either one of their names tends to bring s growling sneer to the lips of all right thinking people. Their common trait is that they don’t get math, and they’re both willing to cook the books to “show” a profit.

Trump lost the popular vote by more than 3 million. Yet he plays incessantly to his rabid base, like they were enough to put him over the top. But playing to his base has turned everybody else against him, and the GOP is about to find out that getting 45% of the vote in an election won’t work without the electoral college there to bail you out.

Likewise, the NRA dazzles itself with its invincible 5 million strong membership of “single issue” voters. There were more than 130 million who voted in 2016. The math works for one simple reason. 5 million divided by 435 congressional districts is just under 12,000 per district. The NRA uses that power in the primaries, to hand pick which NRA friendly GOP candidates will appear on the November ballot. But, as PA-18 showed, it by itself won’t be enough to turn back a strong protest vote against a particular candidate or party.

The march against gun violence in Washington DC on Saturday was something to see. To my 61 year old mind, it evoked memories of the spirit and emotion of the civil rights marches and speeches so long ago, seared into my then 6 year old brain. No threats of violence, no “Look what you did to us!”, no screeched recriminations. Just a soulful, dignified, impassioned spotlight on an obvious injustice, and a reasonable demand for change. Made all the more powerful by the fact that no one over the age of 21 was allowed to speak to the crowd. These are our kids. And what good parent can refuse their kids? Especially when what they’re asking for just plain makes sense.

And then the NRA opened its mouth, and threw up all over itself, like a drunk in an alley at 3 am Sunday morning. They put out a “prebuttal” video, openly mocking the students, telling them to go back to their homework, and telling them that if they used the money for the rally to pay thugs with guns to inhabit their schools, they wouldn’t have this problem. There was a hit meme showing a MSD survivor ripping up a shooting target. An NRA stooge doctored it to look like she was ripping up a copy of the constitution, like that’s gonna work. What are they, 12? They held a series of counter rallies, in rural areas, that were so ineffective that they only rated a note in a chyron at the bottom of the screen on MSNBC, not a single clip of video. And best of all, they tried playing games with the students first amendment rights, playing them off against their own second amendment rights. Ummm. Different rights stand for different things, all equal. But somehow or other, their rights to keep and bear arms trumps the kids rights to not be cut to shreds in their school hallways.

Here’s the real problem for the NRA. They’re preaching to the fucking choir! Almost 90% of Americans, including NRA members, want universal background checks. The NRA is snickering and digging elbows in the ribs of the 10%. In the US, 3% of adults own 57% of the guns, and the NRA is speaking solely to the handful of morons out there that would like to personally invade Syria if the travel arrangements could be worked out. The nation is recoiling from the constant news onslaught of mass gun atrocities in this country, and the best that the NRA can come up with is “Baghdad Bob?” Fact. In the late 90’s,that ancient idjit, Mr Squeaky Clean Pat Boone, put out a hip-hop/rap album for frost tops like me to exercise to. No shit. Here’s the rub. Old farts that listen to Pat Boone records hate hip-hop and rap, and kids would rather burn their ear buds than so much as listen to Pat Boone breathe. The NRA is starting to come across like Pat Boone.

The Emperor has no clothes. If the NRA truly represented their 5 million members, they would act like it. They would listen to their members, and sit down at the table for a serious discussion on solutions. But the NRA doesn’t represent it’s members, it represents the armament and ammo manufacturers, the dues the NRA collects is chump change. And for as long as the same 3% are willing to plunk down money to keep the death dealers afloat, the rest of us be damned. The NRA is that girl in school that just can’t resist the troublemaker in the leather jacket with the duck’s ass hairdo.

“Pride goeth before a fall.” And arrogance goeth before a real ass whupping. The NRA bully is so busy bragging to their four amigos about how tough they are, that they’re ignoring the fact that the chess club is about ti get medieval on their ass in the schoolyard. Good. I wanna see the looks on their faces in November, when these kids hand them their heads on a platter.

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