ABC News / YouTube Trump Assassination Attempt Thwarted...
ABC News / YouTube

Donald Trump took a break from his busy golf schedule on Thursday to sit down with The New York Times and babble about—among other things—the investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election. And there’s one thing he wants to make perfectly clear:

there is absolutely no collusion … no collusion … no collusion … no collusion … absolutely no collusion … no collusion … no collusion … no collusion … no collusion … no collusion …  no collusion … no collusion … no collusion … no collusion … no collusion … no collusion

So there you have it. There was no collusion, and hey, even if there was, Trump added, “collusion is not a crime.” So apparently Robert Mueller can pack up his tent and go home. (And really, what’s the point of investigations and laws when Trump tells you “I have absolute right to do what I want to do with the Justice Department”?) And besides, Trump has plenty of proof to back up his claim, because Democrats, who he says all agree that there was no collusion, “walk around blinking at each other.”

Of course it should be noted that Trump did agree there was plenty of collusion. (Wait, what?!? you ask?)

 I actually think it’s turning to the Democrats because there was collusion on behalf of the Democrats. There was collusion with the Russians and the Democrats. A lot of collusion …  tremendous collusion on behalf of the Russians and the Democrats …  tremendous collusion with the Russians and with the Democratic Party … 

Oh. Okay. And besides all that tremendous collusion:

They made the Russian story up as a hoax

Botton line? Trump is nuts. 

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This is a Creative Commons article. The original version of this article appeared here.

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