Okay, so MyPillow guy Mike Lindell’s new site, Frankspeech.com, isn’t working quite yet. It was supposed to launch days ago, but if you go there right now (as of this writing, that is), you’ll see Lindell fielding a series of prank phone calls and interviewing Ted Nugent. No apparent social-media-ing going on yet. (According to Lindell, “Frank Speech was attacked this morning,” and so it can’t yet be used. But he promises to stream insane video of himself and other kooks for the next 48 hours.)

By the time you read this, maybe Lindell will have found a way to expunge the pranksters’ free speech from the free speech site, and perhaps Randy Quaid will show up with absolute proof that 20 million uncounted Trump votes were squirreled away in a Frankfurt, Germany, frogurt machine back in November.

But that’s burying the lede, because Lindell also announced today that he—or, rather, his company MyPillow—is suing Dominion Voting Systems for $1.6 billion, which is, oddly, more than the amount Dominion sued him for in response to his serial election lies.

From Insider:

The suit appears to be a counterattack after Dominion filed a $1.3 billion defamation lawsuit against both the company and its Lindell in February.

MyPillow has now sued Dominion for $1.6 billion, Lindell announced in a livestream on his social-media site Frank on Monday.

“This is all about the first amendment rights and free speech,” Lindell said.

Well, it’s not about First Amendment rights, because the government never sent a SWAT team to his house to keep him from saying stupid shit that would almost certainly get him sued. They’d have been doing him a favor if they had, but they clearly never did.

And it’s hard to say it’s about “free speech” when Frankspeech.com doesn’t allow users to cuss or use the Lord’s name in vain. I mean, Jesus F. Christ on a Chicken in a Biskit, what the fuck is wrong with this gonorrheal rhino choad?

So I guess it’ll be the Wild West when it comes to spreading provably false election conspiracy theories that goad dumbfucks into participating in violent insurrections, but don’t say “Mike Lindell is a gormless, rancid shart on the underpants of the cosmos” or you’ll be bounced. From the free speech site.

Of course, I’m not the only one who views the lack of profanity with a jaundiced eye. This guy, who was presumably looking forward to the Frankspeech.com launch, is giving it a hard pass:

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Warning: He uses the word “gay” in an offensive way during his diatribe, but I cut off the transcript prior to that.

BRENDEN DILLEY: “Mike came out yesterday and he equated curse words to pornography. Dude, you lost me, bro. I don’t know what your agenda was, I don’t know what you were trying to attract, but the second you said … you called it a free speech platform and then you said that you’re not going to allow curse words because you equated them to pornography. You fucking lost me. Enjoy your dorky-ass social media platform, bro. Sorry, I don’t know what to tell you. Fucking nerds will hang out there.”

I give Frankspeech.com about two months. That is, if he ever actually launches it.

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If it’s just videos of Mike taking prank calls and talking to Ted Nugent for the rest of eternity, I have a feeling it won’t take off the way Mike thinks it will. But it will be vastly more entertaining than whatever it is he’s planned.

”This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on author Aldous J. Pennyfarthing via TwitterNeed a thorough Trump cleanse? Thanks to Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, Dear F*cking Lunatic, Dear Pr*sident A**clown and Dear F*cking Moron, you can purge the Trump years from your soul sans the existential dread. Only laughs from here on out. Click those links, yo!

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