Mr President, I Have A Question

WASHINGTON, DC - FEBRUARY 24: (AFP OUT) U.S. President Donald Trump speaks before signing an executive order establishing regulatory reform officers and task forces in US agencies in the Oval Office of the White House on February 24, 2017 in Washington, DC. Earlier in the day, Trump stated he would cut 75 percent of regulations. (Photo by Olivier Douliery - Pool/Getty Images)

The longer that the Trump economy continues to flail around like an electrocution victim, it’s obviously becoming a bigger pain in Donald Trump’s ass than Robert Mueller, Chuck Schumer, and Nancy Pelosi combined. That’s for the simple reason that Mueller, Schumer, and Pelosi were flesh and blood adversaries, and as such he could attack them freely. He has anchored himself to the economy so tightly that he can’t call it nasty names, or blame it for anything, instead he has to blame other things for it.

The first quarter GDP number was like a bugle going off in a cemetery, and the weekly and monthly unemployment numbers are starting to sound an awful lot like dirt thumping on the lid of a casket. But this is the hand that Trump has dealt himself, and I think the poker term for it is a kangaroo straight, but it’s he has to work with. Trump’s biggest problem is that if there is a single human being on the planet more piss poorly qualified to play Liars Poker, I’ve yet to see him or her.

But still, Trump is giving it his best shot. He’s settled on a strategy for dealing with the economy with the media now, and at least for the moment, he’s sticking with it. Here’s his latest snake oil spiel, Things are going to turn around in the third quarter, the fourth quarter will be even better, and then next year the economy is going to completely take off.

When dealing with a political nincompoop like Trump, this is almost absurdly easy to decipher. The third quarter consists of July, August, and September, and that’s basically the ball game for Trump. Those numbers will come out in October, and if they’re a miserable flop, Trump loses any prayer of using his economic stewardship as a stepladder for reelection. His reference to the fourth quarter will become obvious when he starts wrapping that phrase into his stump speeches, an obvious reference to the stock market taking off like a rocket ship with his reelection. And his rosy prediction for next year is a thinly veiled plea to give him four more years to sink further into dementia.

But when Trump speaks of next year, he keeps gilding the lily with a statement that makes absolutely no sense at all. He prattles on that The economy is going to go through the roof next year. And I know that because of the pent up demand. I’ve never seen so much pent up demand before in my life. It’s unbelievable.

Which begs my very simple question for our economic Savant in Chief, Pent up demand for what exactly, Mr President? See, the whole thing with demand is that in order to be effective as an economic stimulant, it has to be a demand for something that is either barely in adequate supply, or of which there is a shortage. A shortage creates economic stimulus because manufacturers have to hire more people to make more of the shit that’s in short supply more quickly, and the increased sales pump money back into the economy. I get all of that.

So, what exactly is this miracle product that the nation is clamoring so piteously for? Surgical masks? Rubber gloves? Suntan lotion for a week at the beach? A belt with sharp tipped 6′ aluminum spikes studded on it to ensure your personal space in the era of social distancing? The things that I’ve heard people screaming the loudest for in the last several weeks are a ducking breath of fresh air, and a walk in the park, neither of which costs anything. So please, educate my dumb Mick ass as to exactly what I’m missing here.

Because there’s something that El Pendejo President is missing here as well. You can have all of the pent up demand you want, but in order to scratch that particular itch, you need something else as well. A little something known as disposable income. Anybody got any of that laying around at the moment? Anybody? That $600 a week income stimulus from congress only runs for four months, which means it will expire in August. And people have to husband that as much as possible to help cover the shortfall when they return to their straight unemployment benefits. The only thing that people are going to be demanding next year are a vaccine for the coronavirus, and more stimulus money to augment their lousy unemployment checks.

Sometimes when Trump opens his pie hole, understanding what he’s saying is like trying to play Scrabble with all of the vowel tiles missing. Not this time, this nonsense doesn’t need a child proof cap. No matter how much Trump tries to distance himself from it, he is tying his reelection on as many states reopening as quickly as possible to ramp up the third quarter numbers. The problem is that many small business owners in these states are rather skittish about reopening so soon, and even large retailers admit they’ll take a loss with social distancing restrictions. And if, as expected, coronavirus cases in those states spike in June, that’ll send everybody back into their hidey-holes again. And that doesn’t even touch the fact that Trump balancing his idiotic corporate tax cut giveaway relied on the economy growing at a rate of 4-5%, and thanks to the pandemic and Trump’s botched response, the economy is actually shrinking, and is likely to do so for some time to come. The chickens are coming home to roost, and Trump is the one with the loudest Buck-BUCKAW! I’m looking forward to watching him try to fantasize his way out of this one.

To know the future, look to the past.before the insanity of the 2020 election, relive the insanity of the 2016 GOP primary campaign, and the general election, to see how we got to where we are. Copies of President Evil, and the sequel, President Evil II, A Clodwork Orange are available as e-books on Amazon, at the links above. Catch up before the upcoming release of the third book in the trilogy, President Evil III: All The Presidents Fen

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3 Comments on "Mr President, I Have A Question"

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chris whitley
chris whitley

That’s a very big part of he problem. Before you can send your minions out to make goods and perform services you need to know what the country might need. And since the country oust pulled the plug they have no idea what’s going on. Interesting problem there.

Alfred Higgins
Alfred Higgins

The pent up demand that Trump alludes to is the demand for PPE, masks, ventilators, trained medical personnel, and undertakers, all of which will be in short supply when the next waves of infection break.

J. M.
J. M.

He belongs in prison. And I’m sick of his annoying delusions.