Mel Brooks, meet Donald Trump. Our satire President.

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DonkeyHotey / Flickr Donald Trump Caricature...
DonkeyHotey / Flickr

When it comes to Trump as a President, the comparisons to Mel Brooks characters are almost endless. Try the piggish Caesar from “History of the World Part I,” piggishly letting rip with a fart on his divan, while Empress Nympho recoils in revulsion. Or Torquemada in the same film, gleefully ridiculing and torturing “others” in the dungeon. How about Prince John in “Robin Hood, Men in Tights,” a shallow coward, incapable of processing bad news. Or Governor LePetomaine of “Blazing Saddles”, King Louie XIIII of “History,” and President Skroob of “Spaceballs,” all cockily trying to score anything with mammaries with a leer on their vapid faces. Hell, you can even throw in Max Bialystok in “The Producers,” happily fleecing suckers longing for a windfall and some affection.

There is just one small problem with all of these similes. With all of the Mel brooks characters, they were intentionally clownishly over the top, with the intent of getting cheap laughs at the characters behavior. Donald Trump is the shepherd of 265 million American citizens, with access to the potential to basically end life as we know it on planet Earth. The Oval Office is no place for slapstick.

And the silly bastard just did it again. For five solid days three weeks ago, the congressional GOP excoriated the Democrats for first threatening to, and eventually shitting down the government over immigration. The Democrats called it off after only 3 days. The GOP took a victory lap for slapping down the Democrat’s impudence. And now Trump himself wants to directly engineer a government shutdown if he doesn’t get his damn wall, and a law allowing him to deport George fucking Hamilton for being too dark.

Only His Lowness could pull off the near impossible stunt of validating the Democrats moral stand in shutting down the government over immigration by threatening to do the same thing over the same issue. But put aide for a moment the insane contradiction displayerd by this childish threat. This is a political disaster for the GOP for two reasons.

First, the biggest reason the Democrats abandoned their shutdown after only three days was that public opinion was against them. The majority of Americans did not believe that immigration was worth stopping essential government services over. Is MS13 a problem? Absolutely. Are they vicious, cowardly psychopaths? Undeniably. But they are not omnipresent. They don’t stand on every corner brandishing Uzi’s. And if the American public didn’t think anywhere from 800,000 to 1.8 million undocumented youths were worth shutting the government down over, I find it inconceivable that they’re going to find combating a few thousand finger flashing thugs is going to move them either.

But there’s an even worse problem for this political army of Jerry Lewis wannabe’s. The Tiny Thumbs Diktator just gave the Democrats carte blanche to shut down the government any time they want to over immigration, and pin-the-tail-on-the-jackass. The last report I heard floated today was that the GOP was trying to pass a short term CR going until the end of March to allow time for the Senate to craft, debate and pass an immigration bill for the Dreamers. But I didn’t hear a damn word about them extending Hair Furor’s artificial March 5th deadline for scrapping DACA. If the Democrats don’t get a firm commitment from the GOP for a straight up or down vote in both chambers on a clean DACA bill, I don’t see a single reason for the Democrats to give the GOP so much as one vote in the Senate to break the filibuster. And when the lights go out Thursday night, guess who owns it, lock, stock, and barrel? That’s right, the Orange Tufted Poodle. But if that happens, wadda ya wanna bet that the first words out of Yertl the Turtle’s mouth is a resolution to continue to pay the troops throughout the shutdown? And when that happens, and the Democrats magnanimously agree, it’s the Democrats that will be heroes for all of those service members and their families. Only Trump.

And one more thing for your already overloaded brain to consider. The stock market managed to claw back about 1/3-1/4 of what it lost in the previous two days. If there’s one thing that Wall Street hates more than anything else, it’s uncertainty. If it starts to appear tomorrow that we may seriously be on the verge of another, possibly significantly longer shutdown, look for the stock market to make a spawning salmon run for bonds, and Trump’s bogus reputation as a financial wizard to go up in smoke, just like everything else he tries to do. Don’t touch that dial.

 

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