McConnell: “2017 Was the Best Year for Conservatives in 30 Years”

Gage Skidmore / Flickr mitch mcconnell...
Gage Skidmore / Flickr

Mitch McConnell, as told to Fox Business Insider:

“2017 was the best year for conservatives in the 30 years that I’ve been here. The best year on all fronts. And a lot of people were shocked because we didn’t know what we were getting with Donald Trump,” .

In 2017 Donald Trump …

  1. Called the press “the enemy of the people.”
  2. Called upon a book publisher to cease and desist publishing a book critical of him
  3. Fired the Director of the FBI for investigating his Russian contacts
  4. Without basis accused his predecessor of wiretapping him and called him a sick guy.
  5. Appointed candidates to offices so unqualified they withdrew their own nominations
  6. Threatened to use anti-trust laws against his “enemy” CNN
  7. Threatened to jail political opponents
  8. Failed to do ANYTHING about a foreign country meddling in our elections
  9. Lied to the American people about everything from voter fraud to crowd size
  10. Had at least 4 close aides or campaign associates indicted or judged guilty of various crimes associated with the investigation into Russia.

And yet this was the best year in 30 years of  McConnell’s career “on all fronts,” which just goes to show what true “conservative values” really look like. Perhaps this explains Hunter S. Thompson’s old quote:

“I believe the Republicans have never thought that democracy was anything but a tribal myth.”


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G-d, please save me from the Christians and the Conservatives. There is a reason that the United States of America came into existence. It was to get Tories and their evil intentions out of our lives. Low and behold, the Tories are back!