“A lot of people are freaking out over the coronavirus,” Marco Rubio breathlessly intones — and he wouldn’t want you to think he’s one of them. Oh, no Sir, he’s just fine. He always squats in his office under the picture of Jesus and glances sideways furtively, while making black and white videos for Twitter. (WTF makes black and white videos for Twitter?!?) Maybe the black and white disguises deathly pallor better? We’re told it makes chocolate syrup look like blood, is that next?
— Marco Rubio (@marcorubio) February 26, 2020
The Intelligencer did a great riff on this, which has been getting reblogged everywhere.
Marco Rubio on Wednesday urged Americans not to panic over the coronavirus in a video that looks like it was recorded in his doomsday bunker.
“A lot of people freaking out this morning about coronavirus,” the Florida senator says at the start of the video, as his eyes nervously dart around a small room. He goes on to list all the reasons why it’s “not a time to panic.”
Rubio’s words might project confidence, but the black-and-white footage, camera angle, and paranoid glances suggest coronavirus-infected zombies are seconds away from breaking down his door and devouring him.
Never lose sight of the fact that Rubio doesn’t exactly handle himself well in times of crisis. One of his most celebrated gaffes was when he was running for reelection in October, 2016, when Hurricane Matthew was beating down on Florida shores. All other politicians were on the airwaves urging their constituents to leave and leave now. Rubio was on the air saying there was still plenty of time to contribute to his reelection campaign. You’re always on Rubio’s mind, Florida, just not the way you think.