In today’s requisite wee little what the hell moment, we learn that after the completion of a new helicopter pad for Marine One at Mar-a-Lago to accommodate Donald Effing Trump’s weekend taxpayer-financed getaways to his own damn business, that helipad is not being used for Marine One after all, but as temporary parking spot for a Trump-branded private (corporate?) helicopter.

A Trump-branded private helicopter was spotted at President Trump’s Mar-a-Lago estate on Saturday, landing on a helipad that was built last month. […]

The pad was built to allow the president to travel on Marine One from Palm Beach International Airport to his resort without blocking traffic — though the new travel plan will not change Secret Service-mandated closures surrounding Mar-a-Lago.

He wasn’t on it, there’s apparently no word that he’ll be using it, but it will apparently be “staged” on the pad for the duration of his stay. I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS ABOUT THIS.

• Will we, the taxpayers, be paying for this new super-necessary helipad at Donald Trump’s Florida golf club? We can’t have Marine One landing on a fairway, after all, but it seems highly unlikely that Donald Effing Trump, notorious tightwad, will be paying for it himself.

• Did the club pay for it? No, really—will this be considered a business expense by the Trump-owned company now touting access to a sitting president and his visiting world leaders as a perk of membership? Will they be writing helipad for our weekending boss off on the corporate taxes?

• The Town Council approved the construction of the helipad under the condition that it only be used “for presidential business.” Is this “presidential business”? Sez who?

• So what is a private helicopter doing on that presumably super-necessary, must-have helipad for Marine One? It wasn’t Trump that flew in on it, so who did? Is this the Kuchnermobile? The Ivankacopter? Pray tell, what non-Marine-One-related business so important as to require “staging” a private aircraft on the presidential-business-only helipad?

• So what happens if Marine One does need to land? Does our military need to first find whoever has the keys to the damn Trump chopper and politely ask them to move it so they can collect the sitting president? What if there was an emergency and the president needed to be whisked away? I guess he’ll just be taking the golf cart?

• But wait—is this the new Marine One? Perhaps we’re overthinking this; perhaps Trump is simply leasing his own private helicopter to the American government (at, of course, proper rates) to save wear and tear on our military version? Or perhaps he has had Marine One repainted; military green is such a drab color.

• Trump filed several lawsuits against Palm Beach in the past because noise from the airport was sullying his enjoyment of Mar-a-Lago. Supposing he really does at some point use the helipad himself, will he then sue his government for the deafening noise of landing him there?

The man never ceases to amaze. Still, though, I’m surprised Trump would even dare park his own helicopter at his golf course during one of his weekend getaways. I’ve seen the man’s swing. The odds of a golf ball going through the front glass on that thing have got to be 2 to 1, at least.

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