Lather, Rinse, Repeat — The Failures Continue — Good News Roundup for Tuesday March 12, 2019

Connie / Flickr good news express...
Connie / Flickr

There’s something very cyclic about tRump’s failed Rezidency.

  • tRump does something thoughtless, stupid, cruel and/or criminal.
  • Whatever the transgression, it’s roundly criticized by responsible media; decried by Democrats; normalized by the corporate MSM; praised by Fox; and defended by feckless republican office holders.
  • Someone from tRump’s team leaks something even more damaging about that recent transgression.
  • tRump engages in a meandering word salad defense including a yuge helping of projection.
  • tRump gets sued to put a halt to his whim.
  • A court finds against tRump
  • tRump whines and starts a tRumper tantrum on twitter.

A day or an hour or half a sentence later, tRump does it again and whatever horrible thing he just got reamed for recedes into the past and the process starts all over again.

Every time this cycle happens someone moves from the “I don’t like this guy” column to the “This guy is a menace” column.  Sometimes an actual tRump supporter will finally see the light and defect.  It’s a cumulative effect and it is inexorable.  Short of putting powerful sedatives in the water, there is nothing tRump can do to tamp down the outrage he causes every time he opens his mouth.

One area where we can up our game is by holding the MSM’s complacent feet to the fire.  When the Chuck Todds of the world let republican spokesweasels push blatant lies without consequence we need to call them out.  A few tens of thousands of letters politely asking:  Dear Newsreader,  Why did you let Kellyanne or Sarah or [RWNJ icon] gaslight you like that?  Don’t you find it infuriating when someone lies to your face like that?  I feel embarrassed on your behalf.  Please try to do better the next time.  Sincerely, a viewer who is contemplating watching someone else if you keep dropping the ball.

The danger is succumbing to tRump fatigue.  That’s where a person let’s the constant barrage of criminal acts, lies, outrageous statements, idiotic policies and sheer stupidity get them depressed.  If you feel that happening, I advise you to take a step back and look at the ever increasing number of stories that are turning over rocks and causing the Jordan Meadows (the teabag twins) of the world to become even more unhinged.  Calling them out is having an impact and it’s not trivial.  For some unknowable reason, the tRumpian pig can’t resist chewing off its own face to get rid of whatever lipstick Fox tries to cover it with.  The exposed death’s head* is not a vision to instill public confidence in the court of Donnie the Dotard.  They’ll flail and they’ll squeal.  They’ll lie and they’ll cheat.  But they’ve been exposed and they can’t take that back.

So remember:  Chin up.  Eyes forward.  It’s time to kick ass, take names and chew bubblegum.

*WWII Nazi totenkopf reference for you youngsters who might have missed the memo.

Getting the Ball Rolling

Don Caron at the Parody Project released this four days ago.  He’s covered some of the recent tiny fibs untruths fact stretching big lies from Individual 1.

Now, let’s take a look at some recent stories.

Pimping Away at Mar-A-Lago

Apparently, the least competent person ever to inhabit the White House decided to follow a family tradition and pimp up his pay to play all-access scam by letting an actual pimp (alleged) sell seats at his fund-raising events to non-citizens (yet another crime).

Mother Jones:  A Florida Massage Parlor Owner Has Been Selling Chinese Execs Access to Trump at Mar-a-Lago

The latest Trump political donor to draw controversy is Li Yang, a 45-year-old Florida entrepreneur from China who founded a chain of spas and massage parlors that included the one where New England Patriots owner Bob Kraft was recently busted for soliciting prostitution. She made the news this week when the Miami Herald reported that last month she had attended a Super Bowl viewing party at Donald Trump’s West Palm Beach golf club and had snapped a selfie with the president during the event. Though Yang no longer owns the spa Kraft allegedly visited, the newspaper noted that other massage parlors her family runs have “gained a reputation for offering sexual services.” (She told the newspaper she has never violated the law.) Beyond this sordid tale, there is another angle to the strange story of Yang: She runs an investment business that has offered to sell Chinese clients access to Trump and his family. And a website for the business—which includes numerous photos of Yang and her purported clients hobnobbing at Mar-a-Lago, Trump’s private club in Palm Beach—suggests she had some success in doing so.

Yang, who goes by Cindy, and her husband, Zubin Gong, started GY US Investments LLC in 2017. The company describes itself on its website, which is mostly in Chinese, as an “international business consulting firm that provides public relations services to assist businesses in America to establish and expand their brand image in the modern Chinese marketplace.” But the firm notes that its services also address clients looking to make high-level connections in the United States. On a page displaying a photo of Mar-a-Lago, Yang’s company says its “activities for clients” have included providing them “the opportunity to interact with the president, the [American] Minister of Commerce and other political figures.” The company boasts it has “arranged taking photos with the President” and suggests it can set up a “White House and Capitol Hill Dinner.” (The same day the Herald story about Yang broke, the website stopped functioning.)

Inaugural Hijinks

In an intro to psychology class way back in the day, I learned that our short term memory can only hold about 6 or 7 things at a time.  Keeping track of just the investigations into the tRump inauguration is enough to fill short term memory.  That is stunning.  We could make a RICO case out of just the crimes committed by Two Scoops’ inauguration committee.

Wonkette:  Trump Inauguration: When The Money Keeps Rolling In, You Don’t Ask HOW

How many live investigations are there of the Trump inauguration fuckery funtimes? Couple few!

  1. Manhattan US Attorney’s Office, aka SDNY: They got the ball rolling after seizing Michael Cohen’s tapes and finding a recording of the head party planner worrying about the Trump Hotels gouging on the room rentals;
  2. Brooklyn US Attorney’s Office, aka EDNY: These guys are wondering if illegal foreign donors used strawmen to funnel cash to the inauguration. More on that in a hot second;
  3. Special Counsel’s Office: Having already indicted and gotten a plea from Manafort’s associate Sam Patten for acting as a straw purchaser to buy inauguration tickets for Ukrainian billionaire Pavel Fuchs, Mr. Mueller would like to know why there were so many other shady Ukrainians at the inauguration festivities;
  4. House Judiciary Committee: Chairman Nadler has questions for the Inaugural Committee, Tom Barrack, Rick Gates, and Michael Cohen about the inauguration;
  5. New Jersey Attorney General: Gurbir Grewal is making Trump’s people an offer they can’t refuse to hand over financial documents; and
  6. DC Attorney General: Karl Racine would like an accounting of money paid by the inaugural committee to Trump hotels and the Trump Organization.
Let’s stick this here to break up the wall of text (and because Gym Jordan deserves our scorn).

Liar, Liar, He Ran Out of Pants to Burn

If we can’t keep track of all tRump’s lies without a scorecard, an announcer, cyber metrics, the Las Vegas line and a series of steroid-addled confessions, how can we expect him to keep track of them himself?

Rolling Stone:  Trump Is Getting Lost in His Own Lies

Former Trump employees have warned that as objectionable as the president may sound in public, he’s even worse behind closed doors. Such was the case last Friday when Trump spoke to Republican National Committee donors at Mar-a-Lago. According to Axios, organizers were so concerned with Trump’s private comments leaking that they made attendees seal their cell phones in magnetized pouches. Though the measure may have prevented the release of audio recordings of the president’s speech, a few donors gave Axios a run-down of proceedings. They were as strange as one might expect and, yes, race was involved.

During what one donor described as a “bizarre tangent” about his seclusion in the White House over the holidays, Trump allegedly joked that Secret Service agents were wearing blackface. The donor said that Trump described looking out the curtain of the White House and seeing the agents “in the trees, on the lawn,” and that they were wearing night-vision goggles. “They’re in blackface,” Trump said, adding that “maybe they have to take them away,” because of it. The two sources who relayed the account to Axios said they assumed Trump was referencing the controversy surrounding Democratic Virginia governor Ralph Northam, who last month admitted he wore blackface in the ’80s and which everyone seems to have forgotten about.

It didn’t end there. Responding to recent comments from Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-MN) that the GOP has been using to claim she’s anti-Semitic, Trump reportedly went ahead and slapped the label on the entire party. “The Democrats hate Jewish people,” he reportedly said bluntly before going on about how much he’s done for Israel since taking office. This of course is not true. After Trump said last week that the Democratic party has become “anti-Jewish,” the Washington Post dropped some statistics proving the claim has no bearing in reality. Not only are 32 of the 34 Jewish Americans in Congress Democrats, over 70 percent of Jewish Americans voted for Hillary Clinton in 2016, and a poll released in October 2018 found that 74 percent of Jewish-American voters planned to vote for Democratic candidates in the midterms.

Here’s why the administration is afraid to hold press conferences.  Another example of the “neon god they made” being a yuge liar.

CNN:  Spokesliar Huckster Slanders tries to defend tRump’s “Democrats hate Jews” statement. Video [3:07]

Another New Investigation Helps Make March the Bigliest tRump Investigation Season Ever

With nineteen days left to launch more investigations,  tRump is cowering under the Resolute Desk hoping there are no front-stabbers left in the White House (bring back the Mooch) because the back-stabbers have turned him into a Rezidential pincushion.

Daily Beast:  New York Attorney General Launches Civil Investigation of Major Trump Organization Projects: NYT

The New York attorney general’s office has issued subpoenas to Deutsche Bank and Investors Bank for records about the financing of four major Trump Organization projects and a failed attempt in 2014 to purchase the Buffalo Bills, The New York Times reports, citing a source familiar with the matter. The move, part of a civil investigation spearheaded by the office of the attorney general, Letitia James, comes after Trump’s former lawyer and fixer Michael Cohen testified in front of Congress last month that the president inflated his assets on financial statements submitted to Deutsche Bank, copies of records of which he provided during the hearing, the Times reports. The subpoenas reportedly seek loan applications, mortgages, and lines of credit, among other transactions, involving Trump International Hotel in Washington, the Trump National Doral outside Miami, and the Trump International Hotel and Tower in Chicago.

Dear Tucker, You Suck and You Know It

In normal times we would call this an internecine squabble among media types searching for ratings.  These aren’t normal times and Tucker Carlson isn’t normal either.  Giving bigots like Carson airtime is one of the reasons Faux Noise needs to be gelded in a bigly way.

Daily Beast: ‘COME ON, BIG MAN’ Chris Cuomo Calls Out Fox News ‘Coward’ Tucker Carlson

CNN host Chris Cuomo ended his primetime program on Monday night by tearing into Tucker Carlson, who has been engulfed in yet another potentially career-ending controversy this week as clips continue to emerge of him saying things on the radio that are even more misogynistic and offensive than he regularly does on his Fox News show.

After reading some of Carlson’s most hateful comments aloud—along with a few from his colleague Jeanine Pirro—Cuomo told his viewers, “You know what they’re doing. This B.S. is currency for them.”

Acknowledging that some of Tucker’s most vile commentary was made several years ago, Cuomo added, “Here’s the test. Would he say the same things today? No, no, he’s too busy playing the victim. He’d only say that he was naughty, but he wouldn’t repeat them tonight. Why not? Come on, big man. Read the list of all the things that you said and do it again and show that you mean it.”

Let’s Make It a National Law

Presented without comment (except for all the chortling I’m still doing).

Rolling Stone:  Georgia Lawmaker Proposes Requiring Permission for Viagra, Criminalizing Vasectomies

On Monday morning, Georgia state Rep. Dar’shun Kendrick sent an email to her legislative counsel, the staffer responsible for writing bills.

Subject line: Testicular “Bill of Rights” Legislation.

Importance: High.

“Good morning,” Kendrick wrote. “Please have the following legislation drafted.” The 36-year-old Democrat went on to lay out her objectives as a bulleted list: Require men to obtain permission from their sexual partner before obtaining a prescription for Viagra. Ban vasectomies in Georgia, and criminalize the doctors who perform them. Classify sex without a condom as “aggravated assault.” Require paternity testing at 8 weeks of pregnancy, and require expectant fathers to begin paying child support immediately. Last but not least, Kendrick proposed a 24-hour waiting period on any men wishing to purchase any porn or sex toys in the state of Georgia.

“I’m dead serious,” Kendrick tells Rolling Stone, adding that she expects a draft on her desk by the end of the week. The point, she says, is to “bring awareness to the fact that if you’re going to legislate our bodies, then we have every right to propose legislation to regulate yours.”

Musical Interlude

Here’s a tasty cover to clean your mental palate.

Short Takes

Congressional investigators have been working hard to understand how Donnie the Dotard is able to generate so much nonsense in such short periods of time.  They may now have a grasp of how he does it.  Der GropingFuror has been using his stool softening suppositories as throat lozenges about two hours before all of his speaking engagements.  He doubles the dose before campaign rallies.

tRump is proof that some things take a village idiot (especially republican things).

Well, tRump is at it again.  There is conclusive evidence that he’s violated anti-trust laws.  Together with his kleptocratic enablers they have cornered the entire American supply of bullshit.  In order to maintain access to a reliable stream, prosperity and antebellum Christian ministers have pledged undying loyalty to tRump.  The same thing happened with oil and coal company executives, anti-vax nutcases, the Koch brothers, Fox News and all the rest of the major bullshit artists active in America today.

New techniques in ancestral DNA testing have conclusively proven that Fred tRump’s ejaculate was six months past its expiration date when it was used to conceive proto-Donnie.  The deterioration was drastic leading to a deeply compromised and severely uninformed embryo.  The condition has only worsened with age.

Republicans see themselves as predators at the top of the political food chain.  The rest of us see them as bankrupts at the court of morals and ethics.

How do you add honesty, ethics and moral courage to a gathering of republicans?  -— Invite a democrat.

There was a noticeable uptick in the intake at the Washington, DC sewage treatment plant during the recent Cohen testimony.  This demonstrates that republicans still have a tiny shred of restraint.  We all expected them to crap in place.

People are saying our worthless Failure-in-Cheat is a few leaves short of a teabag (Ann Coultergeist is one of the people implying this, although she isn’t bright enough to do anymore than just call him an outright idiot as she has a leaf deficit of her own to contend with).

Some Quotes to Ponder

The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitely to be preferred to the presence of those who think they’ve found it — Terry Pratchett

Evil begins when you begin to treat people as things  — Terry Pratchett

Goodness is about what you do. Not what you pray to — Terry Pratchett

They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it’s not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance — Terry Pratchett

The enemy isn’t men, or women, it’s bloody stupid people and no one has the right to be stupid. — Terry Pratchett

Sometimes it’s better to light a flamethrower than to curse the darkness — Terry Pratchett

You laugh, but it’s true, folks: ‘presidential harassment’ is a serious crisis that affects one out of every 320 million people in this country. Just look at [Trump]. He’s so shaken he can’t even speak correctly or dress himself in appropriately-sized clothes. — Trevor Noah


Disclaimer:  No republicans were consulting during the creation of this content.  I did speak to a road apple instead of searching for an actual republican.  The response was indistinguishable from the real thing.

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