Michael Vadon / Flickr Counselor to the President KellyAnne Conway...
Michael Vadon / Flickr

Kellyanne Conway seems to have only one role in the White House, as far as anyone can tell from the outside: to say stupid things on television. Not everyday stupid things, but thunderingly stupid things, on whatever topic Donald Trump is currently being criticized on—the White House will eject her from the ducts like chaff and down she rains on the rest of us.

When it comes to whether or not her extended White House team tends to do Even The Smallest Little Damn Thing in response to the nation’s newest “worst” mass shooting by a lone lunatic single-handedly murdering as many Americans as he could using weapons designed and sold to do exactly that, Conway chooses the usual path—pretending to be outraged, outraged I tell you, at anyone who dares suggest they might.

“I know the high-horse cavalry loves to run in, beating, thumping their chest after the tragedies, but let’s step back and have a thoughtful conversation about everything that is at play here,” Conway said on CNN’s “New Day.” “The more information all of us can learn about what happened in Las Vegas, the better.”

I don’t have any remaining patience for this particular soulless Eva Braun-wannabe, and do not recommend that anyone else strain themselves attempting to find some. She is an empty shell. Her words mean nothing. She has absolutely no insight into anything her own administration says or does, nor seeks it, nor will ever be granted it—she merely wanders from each camera to the next claiming that Donald Trump is surrounded by enemies who are Mean, and Malevolent, and that that is all anyone in the nation needs to know. She doesn’t have the slightest damn idea what Donald Trump will think or do tomorrow, and doesn’t give a damn either way.

It’s rare to see a garbage fire write its own press releases, but here we are.

“You will see that this conversation isn’t being had until tragedies like this strike by those who try to be the loudest voices. You see Hillary Clinton, who’s out on a book tour, talking about herself, not talking about this,” Conway said. “You see her rushing to judgment on Twitter the other day while people are still looking through the rubble, searching through the hospitals for their missing loved ones, trying to politicize it.”

Again: Not even worth responding too. Nothing even worth a mocking rebuttal. The claim is that enemies of the level-headed Donald Trump seek to profit off tragedies, unlike Dear Leader and his two twitching thumbs of eternal wisdom. The implication is that if only enemies of Donald Trump stopped talking about the murders—or, again, any and every other topic she is ever asked about, Kellyanne Conway and her fellow ghouls would find it within their hearts to give a shit.

Garbage. Among the litany of crimes that will be ascribed to Trump in our record books, allowing this remora to attach itself to the underbelly of the executive branch may be little more than a footnote. We are obliged to pay glancing attention for this short while, but we are not obliged to consider her anything more than a clown juggling balls for the camera. Perhaps when all this is over she and Sean Spicer will fight over tossed table scraps in the alleys behind Washington’s poshest clubs.

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This is a Creative Commons article. The original version of this article appeared here.


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