Gage Skidmore / Flickr kellyanne conway...
Gage Skidmore / Flickr

There’s a very good reason why they have a position in the White House of Press Secretary. It’s so that there’s only one official voice speaking out on matters of interest to the country. This serves two puropses. First, it allows for a seamless, unified message to emerge. This can be difficult for a press secretary when the information sands keep shifting quicker than a Sahara desert sand dune in a wind storm, depending on the momentary urges of the Twitiot in Chief. Second, it avoids conflicting stories from multiple sources that the press corps then uses to hammer the press secretary over the head with. Today was a perfect example.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders already looks like an incompetent boob in her response to the Roy Moore debacle. His Lowness himself released a 7-11 grape Slurpee statement when he was in Asia. When pressed on that comment, Sanders promised that the President would have a more comprehensive statement once he returned to the US, and had a chance to be better informed. The thought of Donald Trump being better informed on any issue other than his number of Twitter followers is ludicrous on the face of it. But Trump has been back for a week now, and on this subject he is as silent as we all wish he would be on every subject. Hair Twitler can’t afford to disavow his base, and his base loves Roy Moore. Now Sanders official line is that Trump has already spoken on this subject in his statement, and he wants the voters of Alabama to make up their own minds. Also, trashing Moore just begs the question of why Moore’s accusers should be believed, but not his own sexual assault accusers, which he has already opened himself up to by tweeting away with piss poor spelling about Al Franken. So, a unified message is a problem for this White House even when only one person is speaking.

Now, enter the inexcusable KellyAnne Conway. When she was asked about the controversy this morning on Fox and Friends, the safe answer would have been to either parrot the official line, or refer the question to the press office. But Conway was so thrilled to finally have a little media face time after every reputable media outlet has barred her for being such a hypocritical, pathological liar that she couldn’t resist eating this cupcake. She basically gave a tacit endorsement of Moore, by explaining to everyone how important Moore’s vote for the tax cuts would be, and that Doug Jones would never play ball. And of course, in the White House press briefing today, the reporters gleefully rubbed Sanders nose in this discrepancy pile of dog shit.

Conway’s statement today is important for a few reasons. For one, it tells you how shaky the ground under the GOP Senate tax bill is if losing that one vote with a two vote majority in the Senate could tip the balance. For another thing, The Alabama special election isn’t until December 12th. With the holiday recess, if Moore wins, he won’t be sworn in until next year. Which means that Trump’s boast of giving the middle class a big, beautiful, YUGE tax cut for Christmas is bullshit, it ain’t happening. And last, just as in the statement from Alabama GOP governor Kay Ivey, it shows the complete moral bankruptcy of the GOP, that even an alleged child molester is an acceptable representative of the state, just as long as the word “Yea” is a part of his vocabulary for every GOP bill that is called for a vote.

But this single example of incompetence and ineptitude als glaringly displays the biggest problem that the White House has with the Mueller investigation. Trump spent his entire business career pitting his subordinates against each other, not only for the ego gratification of having them permanently puckered in the vicinity of his well padded ass, but playing them against each other to keep them from getting together and plotting against him. His west wing is no different. Just look at this spring, you had the Ivanka-Kushner faction, the Priebus faction, and the Bannon factions all at war with each other. Then it was the Scaramucci faction, and now the McMaster and Kelly factions. The planning is so haphazard, and the information flow and sharing so piss poor that nobody in the building knows for sure just who knows who, and what about Russia, and what their own personal jeopardy is. This makes staff interviews with Mueller’s investigators resemble a WWE Wrestlemania 20 man elimination cage match. It’s every man and woman for themselves, and with a setup like that, I can damn near guarantee you that whatever happens to Trump, plenty of other people in the west wing are going to be indicted, for lying to investigators if nothing else. And with Trump’s penchant for being loud, and the center of attention, who knows what pearls from swine that staffers heard him spew out in a conversation while he was passing by in a hallway, or through what used to be an open Oval Office door before Kelly took over. And with people like Kushner and Donnie Jrs proclivity for pushing e-mails around like some kind of pyramid scheme letter,who knows what documentary evidence some of these staffers have saved up to protect themselves with?

Trump lawyer Ty Cobb’s erstwhile assertion that this investigation will be over by Thanksgiving, or by the end of the year at the latest is just his way of trying to keep Trump mentally sedated so that he doesn’t blow the shole ship out of the water in a rabid tweetstorm. But the good news is that with the current level of White House media incompetence, we’ll continue to pick up bits and pieces by their own inconsistent statements. And as the intensity of the investigation stiffens, we’ll see more leaks than a colander with a crack in it from the White house as terrified staffers try to get their side of the story out there first for self protection. Good times. Don’t touch that dial.

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