The ramp up to the May 15 testimony of Robert Mueller has all of the Republi-cants running around like the proverbial decapitated chickens, dishing up more than the usual dosage of Trump mania. This is the tweet that kicked it off today.
Despite the tremendous success that I have had as President, including perhaps the greatest ECONOMY and most successful first two years of any President in history, they have stollen two years of my (our) Presidency (Collusion Delusion) that we will never be able to get back…..
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 5, 2019
which of course prompted the usual optics about how great the economy is. The economy has been growing steadily for 100 months, since Obama foreclosed the possibility of a Second Great Depression, but you’ll never hear the figures put in that context. Oh, no, this is some miracle that Trump alone hath wrought. So, all of that nonsense was expected. But this tweet by Jerry Falwell is something else altogether.
After the best week ever for @realDonaldTrump – no obstruction, no collusion, NYT admits @BarackObama did spy on his campaign, & the economy is soaring. I now support reparations-Trump should have 2 yrs added to his 1st term as pay back for time stolen by this corrupt failed coup
— Jerry Falwell (@JerryFalwellJr) May 5, 2019
So, just for the sake of argument — WHAT exactly do we need to make reparations to Trump for? We stole something from him? Two years, to be precise, and how is that calculated? He was owed a presidency without any interference or hindrance of any kind (and this is a new description of that particular job, whoa doggies) And because Trump conspired with a foreign power to steal the election, and an investigation was launched into that matter, Falwell logically concludes that Trump is owed restitution? For his “two years, that we will never get back” to be precise?
In other words, Trump deserves to be compensated with extra time in the White House, because his illegal actions were investigated and that investigation took two years. Ergo, investigation equals victimization? So, if the drug dealer down the street is investigated for six months to determine whether he was part of a cartel smuggling heroin, the drug dealer is entitled to six months additional time living in his apartment, or six months car payments waived — or what? Can anybody follow this? No, of course you can’t, because it’s sheer idiocy. Actually, what is is, is sophistry, which is “the use of fallacious arguments, with the intention of deceiving.” Which makes it vintage Falwell and vintage Trump.
Now, the thought process is familiar, insofar as one more time, Trump is the victim, I get that part. But look at Falwell’s tweet a little more closely. “The New York Times admitted that Barack Obama did spy on the campaign.” Now, this is the “Fake News New York Times,” we’re talking about, right? Who gives a damn what they say, they’re fake news? And this was Trump’s best week yet? Why, because he had to sue only TWO banks to block a subpoena of his financial records? Oh, it must be because he got to talk to his BFF in the Kremlin for one and a half hours. Yes, that makes sense. He’s still walking on sunshine, because Vlad took his call. Or, maybe it’s his best week because he sold Pompeo and Bolton down the river, like he sold the entire intelligence community when he spoke with Putin in Helsinki.
And by the by, “stollen” is a German pastry. Unless Trump was talking about Stalin, and that’s a possibility, too, as deranged as this diatribe is. Now, here’s a recipe for stollen a la Trump.
Recipe for stollen:
Take one 72-year-old fruitcake
Mix in white supremacy
Sprinkle with Fox conspiracy theories
Best served with a side of delusion pic.twitter.com/GknNd5euNt
— Kaz Weida (@kazweida) May 5, 2019
Actually, stollen is a dish best served with a cup of covfefe.
Want to know what I think is really going on here? Falwell’s fellow evangelical wingnut, Franklin Graham, screwed up so magnificently with his hell fire and brimstone attack on Pete Buttigieg that even the Charlotte Observer wrote a scathing editorial, “The Glorious, Growing Irrelevance of Franklin Graham.” Falwell wants to bump off Graham as Evangelical Sycophant in Chief so that he can deliver the spiritual address at Trump’s inauguration, (heaven forfend that that should come to pass) or any other meaningful convocations which may occur between now and then. With Graham’s star plummeting, look for Jerry Falwell’s lips to be glued to Trump’s ass so tight that not even the Jaws of Life can pry them apart. That’s my take on it. And when the day comes that editorials are being written on Donald Trump’s “glorious, growing irrelevance,” Jerry Falwell will not be defending him, he’ll be out playing with the pool boy. Mark my words.