I know she has better things to do, but I wish Nancy Pelosi would show up at (alleged) insurrectionist Richard Barnett’s trial, prop her feet up on the chair in front of her, and giggle madly every time that silly sod complains about how unfair the world is.

To recap: This guy breaks into the Capitol with a stun gun, invades Nancy Pelosi’s office, sits in her chair, puts his feet up on her desk, steals her mail, and leaves a threatening note, but now he’s feeling mistreated.

In the past I’ve thought about inventing a machine that could shrink violins down to the quantum level. In this case, I may have to do better.

The Daily Beast:

“They’re dragging this out. They’re letting everyone else out,” Richard “Bigo” Barnett yelled during his Thursday court hearing, insisting that “it’s not fair” that he is still in jail while a slew of his fellow rioters have been released pending trial.

Uh, then maybe don’t brag about your highly illegal actions or pose for pictures while engaged in seditious mayhem?

Dozens of rioters have been released pending trial, a result of lower-level offenses that federal judges have said are non-violent, and therefore not worthy of detention. That fact seems to irk Barnett, who unloaded on Thursday about how “everyone else who did things much worse are already home” before accusing prosecutors of delaying his hearings.

“They can’t keep pushing me out month by month!” he yelled, pleading that he does not want to remain in a D.C. prison for “another month” while others are “already home.”

Okay, sure. But white privilege isn’t real or anything. 

Being dumb enough to support Donald Trump isn’t illegal, but breaking into federal buildings and stealing things off the speaker’s desk definitely is, even if you think you’re doing it on behalf of your beloved pr*sident’s dumb, orange ass.

Donald Trump has found the perfect Mini-Me in Barnett. When the law nips at your heels because of some grotesque anti-social thing you did 100% of your own volition, scream “unfair!” and “witch hunt!” until you find someone who’ll believe you.

Sadly for Barnett, he doesn’t have a politicized Justice Department to help him out of scrapes. Then again, neither does Donald Trump anymore.

Oh, hi there! You like free stuff, right? The long-anticipated EPILOGUE to Aldous J. Pennyfarthing’s Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump is now available for FREE. Download your copy at this link! And don’t forget to check out the rest of AJP’s oeuvre here. Sit back and enjoy the Trumplessness!

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