Jeez, quit boiling up the tar, and stop plucking the damn chickens will ya?!? It all comes out right in the end, just hear me out. Wadda you have to lose, you’re already reading, aren’t you?
Let’s be honest, shall we? In the current circumstances, impeachment is a pipe dream. Even if we retake the House in November, by the time that the newly minted Democratic led committees could finish doing fair, responsible investigations and generate articles of impeachment to vote on, we will already be in the run up to the 2020 elections, and nobody will have the stomach for that kind of political upheaval. Besides, Democratic oversight would effectively rein in the madness, and the passage of progressive House bills for the Senate to shoot down would basically emasculate the rest of Trump’s term. Also, when you come right down to it, impeachment is not an effective punishment for The Tiny Thumbs Diktator.
When one is convicted of a crime, one is sent to prison and loses his or her freedom. What is the ultimate punishment that comes with impeachment? Removal from office. Short and sweet, the ultimate deterrent of impeachment is personal and professional shame. Quick show of hands! Who thinks that Der Gropinfuror has one modicum of shame in his entire, portly carcass? Trump has spent his entire life forgiving himself for and justifying his excesses. And he has already laid the groundwork to fleece his undying supporters that he is actually a martyr, politically crucified for the purity of his cause. As long as 41% of the country believes him, the rest of us can kiss his ass. Trump will never feel shame for being impeached, because he will refuse to acknowledge his crimes that led to his impeachment in the first place.
But be of good cheer, there really is a much more suitable punishment, and it’s one that he can’t avoid, or wriggle his way out of. The most common axiom applied to the execution of the Mueller investigation is three simple words, “Follow. The. Money.” In terms of the Trump-Russia investigation, it is meant to follow Trump’s byzantine finances to look for illicit connections to Russian or other foreign sources that could be used as a point of leverage over him as President. But confirmation of those crimes would logically lead only to impeachment, and that event is unlikely.
BUT! Investigating possible illicit ties to Russia that could affect Trump’s Presidency are not the only times you can follow the money. Mueller’s probe into Trump’s Russia connections has given him almost unprecedented access to Trump’s financial records. Good Lord, a bank in Cyprus even turned records over to the FBI in it’s investigation into Paul Manafort. Just because a financial crime may not directly involve the Russia investigation doesn’t mean that a crime wasn’t committed. And as we have already seen with Michael Cohen, Mueller is not shy about taking incriminating evidence he finds that he can’t use, and turning it over to prosecutorial agencies that can use it.
Rumors and speculation have swirled around the Trump organization for years. Possible bank fraud. Possible money laundering of Russian rubles through his overpriced schlock condos in New York, and his luxury golf properties. Suspicious circumstances around a property he bought in Florida, and sold soon afterwards for double what he paid for it, to a Russian oligarch no less. Allegations of Russian money laundering through an exclusive Trump branded property in Panama City, to the point that the actual owner of the property used armed security guards to try to keep Trump employees from accessing the property. And don’t forget his aborted Trump Tower in Baku, Azerbaijan, where you can’t even plow a driveway without the proper payoff to the ruling oligarch family. If ever there was a mechanism in place to uncover and connect the dots on this kind of complicated financial tomfoolery, it’s the Mueller investigation. And all of it can be routed to the proper jurisdictions for criminal prosecution.
But. But. But. If Trump even gets a whiff of an upcoming prosecution for unrelated financial crimes, he’ll just preemptively pardon himself, and his family. OK, fine. Simple solution? Don’t prosecute Trump, prosecute his COMPANY! The constitution permits a President to pardon an individual for his crimes, nothing authorizes him to pardon a company or corporation. If any of these crimes were committed, they weren’t committed via Trump’s personal bank and checking accounts, they were funneled through his company books. Follow. The. Money. And then take it, all of it. The Enron trial alone proved how effectively the government can dismantle a criminally liable company when they choose to.
For Hair Furor, this would literally be a fate worse than death. Trump can, at least in his own mind, con his way out of the shame and humiliation of an impeachment as a political “witch hunt.” But to be exposed to the world as nothing more than a common criminal, and not a very good one, since he got caught? His ego couldn’t survive that. Criminal fines and restitution would cripple the company, and if the feds played their hand right, it is possible that the prosecution could fall under the RICO statutes, allowing them to confiscate even more. And what survives? Investors and builders would come out of the woodwork to file civil suits against the Trump organization for lost contracts and properties, picking the carcass clean. Best of all, whether Trump survives the stress or not, a successful prosecution would strip his Satan’s spawn of any hope of an inheritance.
Can this actually happen? Who knows. It all depends on the depth of Trump’s greed, and his willingness to break the rules to get the money. Personally, I think that Trump has been erasing lines since day one, and if his current situation is anything to go by, he isn’t very good at covering his tracks. If he’s dirty, the FBI should have no problem connecting the dots. But you must admit, the thought of His Lowness spending the rest of his miserable existence shacked up in one of Jared’s rent controlled slums, and binge watching The Apprentice reruns, beats having to listen to him blather about his “witch hunt” impeachment hands down.
A note from the author: If you enjoyed this article, you might also enjoy my books, including the brand new President Evil II: A Clodwork Orange. Get them at Amazon: